More often than not, there is an overabundance of fear in our hearts when it comes to letting someone in; so instead, we naturally gravitate towards our normal with the ones who have been in our lives for so long we forget what it’s like to put effort into those relationships. We tend to choose comfort over everything else because we don’t want to welcome the unknown and break down our walls we’ve been building for so long, but I promise it’s so worth it to let your guard down—your first step towards building something pure and genuine is you being exactly who you are.

But yet, we worry, analyze, and fear the unfavorable possibility that we could be rejected.

The fear of rejection— we all have it, some are better at hiding it than others, but when it comes to opening our hearts and allowing someone to see our true colors behind closed doors, we often have reservations and hold back due to fear of that one thing.

Our mind runs wild with unkind thoughts: “What if I’m not good enough? What if he doesn’t like what he hears? What if I share pieces of me and he doesn’t feel a connection? What if I show him who I really am and he doesn’t want me? What if there is someone else?” I refuse to play the victim card ever, but I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to believing in people and letting them hold my heart, even if it’s only temporary.

While there is great fear in being rejected, I fear something more— the what if factor. And that’s why I say, slowly, but surely tear down your walls and let that person see you without fabrication (although it’s much easier said than done). Not everything is suppose to last a lifetime and we know that as people we deeply loved at one point or another drift in and out of our lives, so why is it so hard to let someone in to be our present? I don’t want to wonder one day about what would have happened if I let love lead me instead of trying to map out my whole future and overanalyzing every sentence and action.

I don’t want to ruin my own happiness by self-sabotage. So I must be conscious about calming my curious mind.

Then, here comes another fear— fear of abandonment. We get attached, they leave, and we are left heartbroken. It’s a vicious cycle we fall prey to, but we must remember God has a greater plan and when one door closes, two more will open. Sometimes we have to get our heart a little bent out of shape, so we can appreciate it when it’s whole, warm, and complete.

So I say let them in, let them get to know you while you share who you are and hopefully you will form a real and genuine connection that’ll last and if not, I promise there will be a next one and don’t hold them responsible for your past’s mistakes and heartbreaks.