My Dearest Best Friends,

I will forever be missing you and the times we shared together.

I feel my heart break every time I think of you and I can barely utter your names without losing it just a little.

It used to be easy when we first started to grow apart.

I thought it’d only been temporary, as often was the case.

But here I am, with years of lost time between us,

And I feel the permanence start to sink in.

Its over, its really over.

I can’t go back, only forward but believe me when I say I wish I could.

One more night is all I’d need, just one more night to say goodbye.

The hardest goodbyes are the ones left unsaid,

And as this screen goes blurry in front of me I can finally understand that.

They say that some people are only meant to be in your life for a short amount of time;

And once they fulfill their purpose, they leave, but I can’t help but try to fight that theory.

I’ve tried to fight it as hard as I possibly could.

Not you.

No, it could never happen with you.

It could never happen with us.

Please God, anyone else but them;

Not after everything we’ve been through.

You filled my life with laughter, dried the tears and held me when I couldn’t even speak.

You knew how I was without even asking and did whatever it took to make me feel okay again.

When my life fell apart for the umpteenth time, you made sure to make me forget about it —even if it was just for a little while.

You filled my birthdays with nothing but happiness and threw me more parties than I could handle.

You danced with me in the rain,

Sang with me with the windows rolled down

And dared anyone to tell us to lower the music.

It was the heart-to-hearts in double-parked cars

And questionable train rides at 4 AM.

That first birthday shot.

That last hug before my plane took off.

Midnight basketball and fast food runs.

Stolen hoodies, never to be returned.

But accepting that,

Accepting me.

For all that I was, for all that I am.

But who knows if you’ll ever see who I will be.

We’ll watch each other’s lives in pictures now;

I’ll accomplish milestones absent of such familiar faces,

And make wishes on candles that you’d be there when I open my eyes.

You showed me that friends really can turn into family,

And for the rest of my life I will always be grateful.

My Dearest Best Friends,

I will love you always.

And if you forget all else

Please, don’t ever forget that.