To the friends who think I've abandoned them,
I probably did, but only because you left me first. Last semester, my first semester in college, was the hardest time of my life, and you weren't even there for me. I pulled away from you. I lost contact with you because it was hard for me to turn to someone so close for help and guidance. I wanted you to see the change in my behavior and help me.
You know me well enough to see that I wasn't OK. But if you noticed that something was wrong, you failed to say or do anything. I really thought you'd be there for me after my breakup, like I was there for you. But sadly, you weren't. You didn't even ask me how I was. I needed you to check up on me more. It might sound selfish, but I would have done that for you. I needed to see that even though we were miles apart, you still cared about me and my well-being.
When I finally confessed to everything, you weren't helpful. You didn't even seemed phased by my confession of everything I put myself through. It killed me to see that you were so unbothered by my pain. I cried long enough over this situation and have finally realized what I deserve in our relationship, whether you're willing to give it to me or not. I haven't said goodbye yet, because I can't. I miss our old relationship from time to time, but I feel like I'm not in the position to fix what we had.
I'll be brutally honest and say I was the one who made plans 99 percent of the time to hang out, and you rarely came through, especially last summer. I'm exhausted of getting rejected to do something with you and putting in all the effort that you seem to be lacking. I've tried, and now it's your turn. Show me you care.