I don't know where you are anymore. You occasionally cross my mind, and every time you do... I'm overwhelmed with sadness.

You were always the wild one. You were outlandish. You weren't afraid to show your weird, authentic personality... and you had a way of making me laugh so hard I couldn't catch my breath.

Our friendship was full of laughing. We took turns doing each other's makeup, we talked about boys and walked around my neighborhood way after dark while we sang at the top of our lungs and danced like crazy people in the middle of the street.

We were inseparable. We were very different, but you were pretty much my sister. I was the quiet, reserved one as you were the one always making your presence known and managing to get into trouble.

Everyone felt like a 3rd wheel when we were together because our endless amount of inside jokes left people feeling like we spoke a language they couldn't understand... and we pretty much did.

Fast forward a few years... Life happened and we stopped hanging out as much. "As much" turned into never, and now I'm only left with what I see in the news and what I hear from the people that miss you just as much as I do.

You just seemed to vanish. You disappeared. It has been like you never existed. You aren't to be seen on social media, and no one has any contact information for you. Not even your family.

It's hard to think of you the way I remember you. Crazy and full of life... and think that now you could be somewhere with a needle in your arm, with someone who has no idea about the type of person you used to be. The person I believe you still are.

I know you didn't have an easy life, but part of me is so angry with you. You were smart. You had so much to offer the world, and you chose to sell yourself short.

The other part of me is just sad. Sad that I have no way to try and stop you from your mistakes. Sad you aren't around to make memories with. Sad you aren't here to annoy me and tell me what I need to hear. I'm sad that you may never come out of this and you may waste your life away.

If you ever decide to come back, I want you to know I will be there. I may think you chose a bad path, but I will always be here to listen and help you pick up the pieces. I won't judge you because something tells me you judge yourself enough.

Wherever you are, I hope you know that you still make me laugh without being around. I can still see your ornery face staring at me from across the room just waiting for me to make eye contact with you because you know I won't be able to keep a straight face.

For what it's worth, you were one of the best friendships I have ever had. I know if you ever come back, it'll be like you never left. But in the end, I just want you to be OK.