We all have had a friend or been the friend that's grieving. Most of the time we don't know how to help. This is an article for everyone with a heart.

I am so sorry that life handed you such horrible news. This is a message to show just how special of a friend you are to me, as I am sure you were to them. I want to let you know that grieving is important and necessary. Remember no matter what others tell you, you can grieve at your own pace and in your own way. There is no time limit and don’t ever feel ashamed or that you should just get over it. However, as a friend of someone who is grieving, you want to help the best you can, but just don’t know how to go about doing that. First, I acknowledge the situation. Then mention that I am here to help in any way I can. Also, I find that if you don't know what to say in a situation it is better to say nothing and show you care by actions, listening or just being there/present. Some people want comfort food, while others just want someone's presence. Some also just want to be left alone to process the situation. I am noticing that as a friend. Remember, you don’t know their grieving style so just let them know you are there for them and that they can communicate with you and tell you what they need.

"You know, the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions. Their answers determined whether they were able to enter or not. 'Have you found joy in your life?' 'Has you life brought joy to others?" -The Bucket List

Do remember the five stages of grief because they are apparent and can happen sort of out of order as well. They are...

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

“They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.”-Grief.com

There is no timeline to how you go through these stages, like I said, things work at your own pace. My senior year of high school I took a college level class called Christology. We went through these stages and one thing I took away is what you shouldn't say to someone that is grieving: “I know how you feel.” As a friend or acquaintance, try to stay away from this line because even though you may think it’s comforting to them, it may not necessarily be. You haven't gone through their exact situation. It goes back to the idea that we are all different, with different emotions and circumstances and those situations might be similar but will never be exactly the same.

So when you are helping someone who is grieving remember these quick tips. And for the person who is grieving, take your time and remember not everyone is going to know exactly what to say to you. But hopefully they see and read this article before they say something foolish to you without doing it intentionally.