There is no step-by-step guide on how to get through a breakup. Sometimes you see them coming, sometimes they completely blindside you. Either way, they hurt. Going through a breakup is unbearable. In a totally different way, trying to help someone through one is hard because there is no right way to handle it. So, I am going to give you my unfiltered thoughts, and this is my letter to you:
I’m genuinely sorry. I’m sorry that your heart is broken. I’m sorry that he didn’t appreciate you for what you are. I’m sorry that he doesn’t realize what a mistake he is making. I’m sorry that no matter what I say, your pain will still be there. And finally, I’m sorry that I do not know exactly what you are feeling and I may not say the right things; every relationship is different, making every breakup different too.
With all of this being said, I am not sorry that it happened. I know this seems harsh, but you deserve the world.
You deserve to never feel nervous and never walk on eggshells with someone you wholeheartedly love.
You deserve to never have your heart broken.
You deserve to have someone who loves you the same way you have loved everyone else.
You deserve to be you and have someone love you unconditionally for it.
You deserve to have someone who loves you when you are happy and at your best and someone who loves you EXACTLY THE SAME when you are sad and at your lowest point: through thick and thin, through the ups and downs.
You deserve this because of who you are, and it is not your fault that he does not understand and appreciate the real, unfiltered you.
Sometimes people just don’t get it. Whether it is because he doesn’t understand, or because he is just plain dumb, one day he will look back and see what he had and what he lost. Or, honestly, maybe he won’t, and that’s okay too because by then, you will have found someone who does understand, who does look beyond and appreciate the nitty gritty, not always rainbows and sunshine, you.
You are complex, and it is absolutely not your fault that he didn’t bother to take the time to figure you out. He just doesn’t know how worth-it you are, but I do. I know my love is something different than what you may want right now, but I love you. I know who you are and I love you for it. You should never have to explain and justify yourself as a way to try and get someone to love you the right way.
Love should be easy, and one day it will be for you. One day you will finally stop chasing and you will be loved the way you should be. Until then, I want you to remember that it is okay to be happy, and it is okay to be sad too. If you start to feel better, great! I am so so happy for you. I never want you to feel guilty for smiling and laughing, even if he did thinking your laugh was too loud.
Other times, it isn’t going to be that easy. Just when you think you’ve made some progress, you might start thinking about him again, and that’s okay. He is a part of your past and you need to accept it before you can move on, regardless of how long and how many ups and downs it winds up taking.
Basically, I just want you to be unapologetically you, and I want you to fall in love with yourself. I want you to be so comfortable with who you are that you never have to seek approval from anyone, never mind a silly boy that clearly isn’t worthy of you or your time and energy.
I want you to see yourself the way I see you, and truly appreciate what you have to offer. Life is a journey and I hope you know that I will be here through the good times and the bad, no matter how long it takes.
With all of the love and positive energy under the sun,
Me