I think about you all the time. I wonder what you're doing, and what you think of me. Will you ever read this? The pain of losing a friend is truly indescribable, and such a unique feeling. I just hope you're doing well, and all I wish is the best for you. I know it may seem like there is still tension. There's no hard feelings, but I knew letting you go was the right thing to do not only for me, but the both of us.

How did we go from best friends to strangers? Reflecting on it all, even months later, I still don't understand it all. I don't regret meeting you, and I will forever cherish the time we were friends. I haven't deleted the photos of us and our texts are still in my phone. I'll always remember all of our iconic nights out, and all of the times we felt the closest. You were one of my very first friends I came out to. I remember the very moment I came out to you as gay in the summer of 2016, and you were so accepting and I will never forget how grateful I felt for your unequivocal support. You ascended into my life at a time when I felt very alone, and had still been adjusting to a brand new school. You brought me so much happiness, and I loved your energy. I just knew the vibe was there. I wish I can go back and change some things that I may have said or done, and I'm sure you wish the same. Not all souls are perfect.

A lot of great things always come to an end in one form or another. I realized I needed someone who can be there for me when I needed them. In our friendship, I ended up sensing a lot of one-sided energy and lack of transparency. You grew closer with others, and even gained a boyfriend. What hurt the most was feeling left in the dust and put to the side, knowing I had been there for you in your rough patches. Being the one that encouraged you to extend your connections, I didn't come to expect the aftermath which had resulted. Over the factor of time, our connection just faded. Phone calls and text messages became much less frequent, in part to your continued lack of responses. Eventually, it became an exhausting effort, and I stopped trying altogether. You weren't there for me in the very moments that I needed you the most. I called and you didn't pick up. I sent you texts and you didn't answer until days or even weeks later. You chose to expend your energy elsewhere, and that's fine. In those very moments, I felt powerless but I was thankful that I had alternative outlets of support.

Life changes very quickly. When I moved beyond the low points into my brighter moments of this year, I realized our friendship was irreparably broken. My communication of my true feelings didn't save it, and only backfired. It grew to be a toxic situation in which I had to rethink my investment in energy. Ultimately, I made the decision for my own self to make a life change, which was accompanied by several others at the time, for my very own well-being. It's not easy severing your connection with someone you've grown so close to and made so many memories with. I had to let you go, but I don't regret that, or our friendship. It was just a moment in which I knew I just had to put myself first.

Thank you for being apart of my life. You taught me lessons and I will never forget you.