I have known you for my entire life. That means over the past 23 years you have gotten to know me more than some of the closest people to me currently. With that you’ve learned what upsets me, what makes me the happiest, what triggers me, and what gives me motivation. There’s a sense of comfort knowing that I let someone know me on my most personal levels, but also an equal sense of discomfort to acknowledge the fact that none of that matters now. Why? Because you chose him.

I never really thought there would be a time in my life were someone I loved would completely cut me out, remove me from their own, and pretend like I never played a part. It’s one of the most degrading feelings, but even more than that, it’s actually pretty eye-opening.

Maybe I haven’t been the best friend, and I say that with 100% certainty that there were areas I could have improved. But we’ve both made mistakes, and we’ve always managed to look past them. This time is different because I’m afraid there isn’t much more either one of us can do to put us back on the track that we once were on. Why? Well, you chose him.

Through the many times that you left him, the times that he’s disrespected you to a point it sent chills down my spine, to the abuse he displays in front of all the wrong people, and how low he sent you so. many. times..it still leaves me at a loss for words really.

But what’s even worse? Is knowing that with all of that, you still chose him. I’m trying to understand, and not just for you, but for myself, too, because I deserve some clarity. How is it possible to pick someone who treats you like a piece of property? How do you remove the person who tried to be there for you at every stage of your life? These two people don’t sound remotely the same, so why was one so easy to pick over the other? And why was that person picked over the other in general? I’m not just biased, you’re stunning. You make everyone around you interested in what you’re going to do next, or who you’re going to be. You're smart, giving, caring, and just so loving..and yet all you want to be is a piece of his property that will never amount to anything else. You want to remove every person in your life who has ever cared about you or done something for you.. all for the one person who won’t?

I’m still trying to make sense of it all. Maybe it’ll help all the hurt you’ve caused so many others.. maybe it won’t.

At first, we all fought. We fought for you to come to your senses, to show you how beautiful you were, in a time you weren't made to feel that. We listened, tried to understand, made every attempt we could, but the end result was all the same. You decided to choose him.

I'm not mad at you. I feel sorry for you.

You have more beauty, talent, whits, love, determination, and heart than any other soul I've ever encountered in my entire life. It breaks me knowing that you're throwing it all away for someone who probably can't acknowledge any of that to begin with.

At the end of the day, we are family. We are friends. We are sisters. You can shut us all out, remove us from your life (and social life), tell us we "know nothing" or are "over reacting", but one day (hopefully soon), when your senses finally arise, I hope you know that no matter how long you've shut us out for, our door will always be open for you to come back in again.

Because that's the thing about real love. When you REALLY love someone, you care about their best interest. You don't want to see them suffer in anyway. You want every great quality that that person has to shine. You don't keep those special things hidden away, locked up, for only one person to get the benefit of. If you do? You're just selfish. You're not in love. You're just hoping that maybe the way this one person makes you feel can trump everything else that the people who actually love you, have done for you.

Before you hope for that,

try hoping for this instead.

Hope for a world where he lets you have male friends on social sites.

Hope for a world where what you wear, how you talk, or how you present yourself is always positive, and not constantly negative.

Hope for a time when you go out you don't have to constantly check in or say where you're at, what you're doing, or who you're with.

Hope for a life you can be with your family, and not made to feel guilty because of it.

Just do me a favor, even if it's the last one you ever do for me..

just never stop hoping.

Because we love you, and I can assure you, even if you don't want us to, we will never stop hoping for you.