To The Friend Stuck In A Bad Relationship

To The Friend Stuck In A Bad Relationship

An open letter to that person who just can't get out.
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To the friend stuck in a bad relationship,

You are strong. You may believe you are weak, because you could not get out. I promise you that is not true. You were absorbed in a relationship that began as beautiful and evolved into quite the opposite. This is the person that you believed you would love or could even spend the rest of your life with. You put your all into this relationship. This relationship slowly began to eat away at you. The person, your person, slowly began to take away the best parts of you. Your friends rarely saw you and your family feels pushed to the side. They were not angry with you, they just did not want to see what they suspected, come true. They loved you more than you will ever understand.

At that point there were only small signs and omens of what was to come. They did not allow you to wear that new tank top you just bought because it was too revealing. Thank God they were nice enough to lend you that sweat shirt to cover up. This was not the basic jealousy; rather, they are beginning to control you. Soon they wanted to know where you were 24/7. The little time you spent with your family was be interrupted with text messages from them asking where you were. When you ignored these messages, you were greeted with calls from that angry person asking why you did not answer. These acts were not small and you should not have brushed them off because they just got worse. I watched this happen and I did not know what to do. Your family noticed your absences, both physically and psychologically. We noticed but you didn't want to hear it because you love them so much and they're your whole life.

You have now allowed them to control these aspects of your life and you feel past the point of no return. You cannot dress yourself and you cannot choose who to hangout with. They have not laid a hand on you and you are blind to the psychological abuse. The breaking point finally came and you finally started to see who this person was. Your family wanted you out, but you still loved them. They apologized profusely and promised it would never happen again. You believed them too because you were engrossed in your relationship. You continued to put that person above everyone who has ever loved you. It seemed hopeless, until you hit rock bottom and then you were done with them.

You are not alone. That is the most important fact to know. Your friends and family have always been here, waiting for you to be ready to listen to them. We have tried to help you and bring the signs to your attention. Even with the frustration, we still loved you and would wait until you were ready. We want to help you get out of this relationship, but it will be hard. You love that person, more than any of us will ever understand. Now you are ready for our help and we are still eager to give it to you. That person may have attempted to create a rift between you and us; however, we never left. Approximately 1.5 million young adults are subject to dating violence in the United States per year. Abuse does not discriminate by gender, social status, age, or race. It could happen to anyone and it is never the victim's fault. There are places designated to help, but you have to be open to that help. There are anonymous hotlines, and therapists. You could talk to a teacher, nurse, doctor, friend, or family member. The goal of each person is to keep you safe.

I did not feel like I could successfully intervene because no matter how hard everyone tried, you were still in love them. I love you so much and I saw you hit your lowest point. It is not your fault, nor was it ever. It was hard to see you go through that time in your life. Now you stand tall. You became a stronger person from that horrid experience. I learned a lot from you during that time in your life. I saw my best friend rise from the ashes and become one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I know you will never let anyone take advantage of you again and I will never let the same happen to me. You are an inspiration and I will always be there. Through the good and the bad, friends have each other’s backs. I saw you at your lowest and from there you are now at one of your highest points. I am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.

Love,

The friend who never left
Cover Image Credit: PlayBuzz

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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10 Of The Best On-Campus Date Ideas For Broke UK Couples

Some of the University of Kentucky's best spaces for you and your boo.

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Planning a good date on campus can be difficult when you and your S.O. are both low on funds. You want to do something fun, but everything on your mind is out of walking distance or costs more than the $3 you found in your jeans pocket. You don't have to stress any longer. There are plenty of sweet spots on campus, perfect for bringing a bit of fun and romance to your day. Here are my 10 favorite campus dates.

1. ​​Picnic outside of Willy T​​

picnic outside Willy T

Spring is fast approaching, and there is no better way to enjoy the warmer weather than a picnic in the quad outside the library. Grab a basket of your favorite foods and snacks, a couple of blankets, and your sweetheart, and get ready for a good time. My favorite picnic snacks are sandwiches, cheez-its, chocolate-covered strawberries, and probably everything else in my mini-fridge.

2. The Johnson Center

Johnson Center rock wall

Couples that sweat together, stay together! Maybe that's not a fact, but the gym on campus can be a great place to spend some time with your boo while being healthy. You can use machines side by side, spot each other, or (my favorite) rock climb together! After a date at the gym, all of the endorphins your body released will put both of you in the best mood ever. Feel free to take a post-date nap together too (if you're not too sweaty, of course).

3. Hammock, anywhere!

couple hammock

The campus is full of trees, which are perfect for hanging your hammock and cuddling up with your favorite person! A hammock is a perfect place for napping, reading, daydreaming, and even having deep conversations. If you or your S.O. are lucky enough to have a hammock, find some trees, grab a blanket, and get relaxed and romantic.

4. Your dorm

couple

Believe it or not, your dorm can be the perfect spot for a cute date. The options are endless! One of my favorite things to do is to build a sick fort, watch some Netflix, and cuddle. It may sound childish, but it's a great time, and the building process may even start a pillow fight. Other things you can do in your dorm are the classic binging Netflix, ordering in, having a spa night (face masks FTW!), or anything really! Don't be afraid to get childish, and just have fun.

5. Gatton Student Center

Gatton Student Center

There are always plenty of fun activities going on in the Gatton Student Center. Whether it be live music or "The Office" trivia, you're guaranteed to have fun! You and your favorite guy or gal can do anything, from trying stand-up comedy, to watching a movie or just chilling on the Social Staircase.

6. Bike around campus

bike around campus

UK's campus is so beautiful, especially in the spring, and the best way to take it all in is by a scenic bike ride with your honey. Find your favorite route and ride by the prettiest places on campus. While beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, one of the prettiest spots is in front of the main building. You can even combine some dates and add a stop for hammocking or a picnic during the bike ride. The possibilities are endless!

7. Starbucks

Starbucks

Every college student I know is constantly starved for coffee. Starbucks can be a great place for getting your caffeine fix, having a meaningful conversation, and even getting some studying in, all at the same time. Make silly faces at your S.O. with a whipped cream mustache and make a café latte toast to life. If you find yourself at the Starbucks in the student center, go UK merch shopping too! Maybe you can even get your date to buy your coffee (wouldn't that be nice).

8. Do something for charity

apo service fraternity

Charity work can be so much fun and it's good for the soul, too. Do something good for your community and make it into a date! There are plenty of things you can do, from decorating cakes for Sweet Blessings or giving blood at a UK blood drive. You can find volunteer work on your own, or you and your S.O. can join a service organization like Alpha Phi Omega (APO).

9. Stargaze

stargazing

If you live right outside of a big city, I'm sure you can understand how hard it is to see actual stars in the night sky. When I came to UK, I was so excited to see real constellations in the sky. As a hopeless romantic, my immediate thought was to plan a date under the beautiful Lexington sky. This is one of the easiest dates out there because all you need is a blanket, a nice spot outside, and someone to share some beautiful moments with.

10.  The Arboretum

arboretum

The Arboretum is a beautiful place, and it can create a very romantic setting for a date. You can relax in the grass and take in the beautiful surroundings or opt for a more high energy date with a walk, run, or bike ride. Either way, the Arboretum is full of gorgeous trees and flowers guaranteed to have you in awe (but the best part is all of the dogs that people bring, IMO).

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