To The Friend Stuck In A Bad Relationship

To The Friend Stuck In A Bad Relationship

An open letter to that person who just can't get out.
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To the friend stuck in a bad relationship,

You are strong. You may believe you are weak, because you could not get out. I promise you that is not true. You were absorbed in a relationship that began as beautiful and evolved into quite the opposite. This is the person that you believed you would love or could even spend the rest of your life with. You put your all into this relationship. This relationship slowly began to eat away at you. The person, your person, slowly began to take away the best parts of you. Your friends rarely saw you and your family feels pushed to the side. They were not angry with you, they just did not want to see what they suspected, come true. They loved you more than you will ever understand.

At that point there were only small signs and omens of what was to come. They did not allow you to wear that new tank top you just bought because it was too revealing. Thank God they were nice enough to lend you that sweat shirt to cover up. This was not the basic jealousy; rather, they are beginning to control you. Soon they wanted to know where you were 24/7. The little time you spent with your family was be interrupted with text messages from them asking where you were. When you ignored these messages, you were greeted with calls from that angry person asking why you did not answer. These acts were not small and you should not have brushed them off because they just got worse. I watched this happen and I did not know what to do. Your family noticed your absences, both physically and psychologically. We noticed but you didn't want to hear it because you love them so much and they're your whole life.

You have now allowed them to control these aspects of your life and you feel past the point of no return. You cannot dress yourself and you cannot choose who to hangout with. They have not laid a hand on you and you are blind to the psychological abuse. The breaking point finally came and you finally started to see who this person was. Your family wanted you out, but you still loved them. They apologized profusely and promised it would never happen again. You believed them too because you were engrossed in your relationship. You continued to put that person above everyone who has ever loved you. It seemed hopeless, until you hit rock bottom and then you were done with them.

You are not alone. That is the most important fact to know. Your friends and family have always been here, waiting for you to be ready to listen to them. We have tried to help you and bring the signs to your attention. Even with the frustration, we still loved you and would wait until you were ready. We want to help you get out of this relationship, but it will be hard. You love that person, more than any of us will ever understand. Now you are ready for our help and we are still eager to give it to you. That person may have attempted to create a rift between you and us; however, we never left. Approximately 1.5 million young adults are subject to dating violence in the United States per year. Abuse does not discriminate by gender, social status, age, or race. It could happen to anyone and it is never the victim's fault. There are places designated to help, but you have to be open to that help. There are anonymous hotlines, and therapists. You could talk to a teacher, nurse, doctor, friend, or family member. The goal of each person is to keep you safe.

I did not feel like I could successfully intervene because no matter how hard everyone tried, you were still in love them. I love you so much and I saw you hit your lowest point. It is not your fault, nor was it ever. It was hard to see you go through that time in your life. Now you stand tall. You became a stronger person from that horrid experience. I learned a lot from you during that time in your life. I saw my best friend rise from the ashes and become one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I know you will never let anyone take advantage of you again and I will never let the same happen to me. You are an inspiration and I will always be there. Through the good and the bad, friends have each other’s backs. I saw you at your lowest and from there you are now at one of your highest points. I am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.

Love,

The friend who never left
Cover Image Credit: PlayBuzz

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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36 Hobbies To Take Up If You Want To Be The Next Best 20-Something Grandma

Pursuing something with needle and thread is a good start

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Need a new hobby? Want to emulate a grandmother? Here are some great ideas for fun things to do in your spare time to get you ready to be the best grandma in 40-50 years!

1. Knitting

2. Baking

This hobby will also come with many friends wanting to try your creations.

3. Crocheting

4. Sudoku 

You gotta keep the mind healthy.

5. Crosswords

6. Cooking

7. Thrifting

Goodwill is your go-to for fabulous finds that won't break the bank.

8. Join a book club

Whether or not you actually read the book, either way it's a good way to socialize.

9. Yard Sale-ing

Don't tell me you didn't go yard sale-ing with your grandma at least once in your childhood.

10. Napping

11. Brunching

Food and friends (and a mimosa)... what's not to love about this hobby?

12. Spades

13. Hearts

14. Gardening

Figure out if you have a green thumb earlier rather than later.

15. Sewing

Being able to fix (or even make) your own clothes seems like both a creative outlet and a practical skill.

16. Antiquing

17. Cross-Stitching

Make some wall decorations for your room!

18. Power-walking

Why normal walk when you could speed walk?

19. Reading at 64-font on your Kindle

20. Read the newspaper

There's just something peaceful and nostalgic about reading a physical newspaper...

21. Collecting

Coins, dolls, you name it.... someone probably collects it.

22. Quilting

23. Rummy

24. Giving wise advice to those younger than you

25. Get a magazine subscription

26. Write hand-written letters to friends

It's fun and there is something so meaningful about taking the time to write it out and mail it.

27. Bridge

28. Curate a bomb matching pajama collection

29. Scrapbooking

Take your memories and add a creative touch... you won't regret it.

30. Tai Chi

I'm not a regular grandma, I'm a cool grandma...

31. Flower-arranging

32. Photography

Capture the moments of the loved ones around you!

33. Plan girls' trips with friends

34. Volunteer

Find time to give back to causes that you are passionate about!

35. Watch game shows

36. Watch soap operas

All the plot points and characters may be cringy, but they are so addicting!

Consider some of these hobbies if you find yourself looking for something to fill your time. When grandma-hood comes around, you'll be ready for it. And if you already do a lot of these things, well then we might as well go ahead and affectionately call you a 20-something grandma!

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