To The Friend Stuck In A Bad Relationship

To The Friend Stuck In A Bad Relationship

An open letter to that person who just can't get out.
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To the friend stuck in a bad relationship,

You are strong. You may believe you are weak, because you could not get out. I promise you that is not true. You were absorbed in a relationship that began as beautiful and evolved into quite the opposite. This is the person that you believed you would love or could even spend the rest of your life with. You put your all into this relationship. This relationship slowly began to eat away at you. The person, your person, slowly began to take away the best parts of you. Your friends rarely saw you and your family feels pushed to the side. They were not angry with you, they just did not want to see what they suspected, come true. They loved you more than you will ever understand.

At that point there were only small signs and omens of what was to come. They did not allow you to wear that new tank top you just bought because it was too revealing. Thank God they were nice enough to lend you that sweat shirt to cover up. This was not the basic jealousy; rather, they are beginning to control you. Soon they wanted to know where you were 24/7. The little time you spent with your family was be interrupted with text messages from them asking where you were. When you ignored these messages, you were greeted with calls from that angry person asking why you did not answer. These acts were not small and you should not have brushed them off because they just got worse. I watched this happen and I did not know what to do. Your family noticed your absences, both physically and psychologically. We noticed but you didn't want to hear it because you love them so much and they're your whole life.

You have now allowed them to control these aspects of your life and you feel past the point of no return. You cannot dress yourself and you cannot choose who to hangout with. They have not laid a hand on you and you are blind to the psychological abuse. The breaking point finally came and you finally started to see who this person was. Your family wanted you out, but you still loved them. They apologized profusely and promised it would never happen again. You believed them too because you were engrossed in your relationship. You continued to put that person above everyone who has ever loved you. It seemed hopeless, until you hit rock bottom and then you were done with them.

You are not alone. That is the most important fact to know. Your friends and family have always been here, waiting for you to be ready to listen to them. We have tried to help you and bring the signs to your attention. Even with the frustration, we still loved you and would wait until you were ready. We want to help you get out of this relationship, but it will be hard. You love that person, more than any of us will ever understand. Now you are ready for our help and we are still eager to give it to you. That person may have attempted to create a rift between you and us; however, we never left. Approximately 1.5 million young adults are subject to dating violence in the United States per year. Abuse does not discriminate by gender, social status, age, or race. It could happen to anyone and it is never the victim's fault. There are places designated to help, but you have to be open to that help. There are anonymous hotlines, and therapists. You could talk to a teacher, nurse, doctor, friend, or family member. The goal of each person is to keep you safe.

I did not feel like I could successfully intervene because no matter how hard everyone tried, you were still in love them. I love you so much and I saw you hit your lowest point. It is not your fault, nor was it ever. It was hard to see you go through that time in your life. Now you stand tall. You became a stronger person from that horrid experience. I learned a lot from you during that time in your life. I saw my best friend rise from the ashes and become one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I know you will never let anyone take advantage of you again and I will never let the same happen to me. You are an inspiration and I will always be there. Through the good and the bad, friends have each other’s backs. I saw you at your lowest and from there you are now at one of your highest points. I am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.

Love,

The friend who never left
Cover Image Credit: PlayBuzz

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Leave Your Ex Alone

They don't want to bother with you, so stop bothering them.

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It's okay to be friends with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, but you can never be friends immediately after the break-up or else the friendship will fail. To be someone's friend you must be able to support them and love them. Relationships almost never end on good terms, so how can you be truly supportive to the person that broke you? You can't.

You both need time to heal and love yourselves again without the emotional support that you both have been leaning on for so long."You can't fix yourself while holding on to the person that broke you." -r.h.sin. Remember that.

Also, please for the sake of all your friends, followers, and your self-dignity, keep your relationship off social media. I'm not saying don't post want you to want to post, but when your profile has turned into a hate blog for your ex, I think it's time quit. Not only does constantly posting negative things about your ex make you look bad, but it also makes the healing process go even slower and possibly ruin the chances of friendship again.

And if you truly believe that sending a text that is close to the length of 400 words to your ex explaining once again that you are completely over them will make them change their minds then go off, but know it most likely won't work. Then didn't care the first time, they won't care the seventh time.

So basically, be respectful and be kind to your ex. No matter how messed upshot they did was and no matter how badly that hurt you, realize that treating them terrible back solves nothing and only reflects badly on you. You can't change how people treat you, but you can choose how to react.

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