I may not be a mother yet, but one day I will be, and I know there are a few things I will wish someone would tell me. Things people would remind me on the hard days. A voice calling out in the dark reminding me that I am not alone out there. And so today, I am here to remind you that it is all going to be okay.
I know you're scared.
I remember the look on your face when you found out, all you said was, "what am I going to do?" I had never seen you so scared. You hadn't planned on becoming a mom at a young age but God had a different plan for you. Now you're trying to figure out how you will make ends meet and how you will still accomplish all the plans you had for yourself.
When a woman gets pregnant at a young age, it's almost automatic that she waits for the string of questions and possible judgments. "How will I tell my parents?", "How is he going to take it?", "What will my friends think?", or "How are they going to look at me in church?". And then, she wonders if she is going to have to drop out of school to save money. She feels as if she is going to have to put her "life on hold". People will tell her that her life is over. Or you will have all of those "friends" who promise to be there for you through everything then slowly start to disappear.
But I want you to remember that no matter what happens, you are not alone. Even on days where all you are going to want to do is cry and give up because it feels like you can't catch a break, you are not alone. God will never give you anything that you cannot handle and He will never leave you. You also have a family who adores you and will have your back at every turn. Just look at how loved this baby already is.
When it comes to the fear of whether or not you'll be able to go back to school one day or if you're going to still be able to be successful on your own, I want to tell you a story.
There was a young mother who beat the odds. She was married and had a son then after a few years divorced and began to raise her son on her own. While raising her son and receiving some help from her parents, she continued going to school and received her undergraduate degree in 4 years. Later in her life, after she had moved to Indonesia, she began working at the American Embassy teaching English. She would move her family back to the United States where she would go to graduate school for anthropology before returning again to Indonesia for doctoral fieldwork and in 1992 she finally received her doctorate. This woman had a child at a young age but still persevered and accomplished her dreams. And who is this woman you might ask? This woman is Ann Dunham, or as many others know her as, Barack Obama's mother.
I also know that despite the fear of future obstacles, you're still excited. There is a life inside of you that you created and already love with your entire heart. But I want you to remember a few things.
Even on the worst days where all you want to do is cry, remember that you are so much stronger than you realize. You created this beautiful life inside of you and now you get to bring this tiny human into the world. Maybe this baby is going to be the one to cure cancer, or who will write a best selling book or even serve our country overseas protecting all of us.
Always remember that you also matter. You are going to bend over backward doing whatever you can to make sure this baby is taken care of and loved. And I promise that this baby will be. But you need to remember that you also need to take the time to take care of yourself. Look at how much your mother sacrificed in order to take care of you and give you everything you have, and how she refused to buy herself new clothes if that meant you could have more. So, go ahead and spoil your child beyond belief if that is what you want to do, but maybe once a month take that hour alone and get a pedicure because you also matter and deserve to be spoiled too.
You can do ANYTHING you set your mind too. If you want to take some time off to have this baby and get used to being a mom, then so be it. But if later down the road you decide you want to go back to school to get that degree you were working on, go. If you still want to be a doctor, become one. Just because you're now a mom, doesn't by any means, mean that your life is over. Having a child may give you a few more challenges, but it will also bring you so much happiness and love. And just imagine the look of pride and excitement on your child's face when they see their mom walk across that stage to receive her college diploma.
So take a breath. Being a mom for the first time is not going to be easy, but you are going to be fine. Your child is going to be the light of your life and your personal mini-me who will follow your every move and be your very best friend. Congratulations mama, you're going to do great.