To the boy that taught me how fragile my heart really is,

I would be lying if I didn't say it still hurts to think about you. As a matter of fact, I still think about you every single day. However, I know that one day I will thank you for all of the pain you put me through.

You see, you were so many of my firsts. My first real boyfriend. The first boy I ever introduced to my family. The first boy that actually cared about me, or so I thought. The first boy that stuck with me for more than just a few months. The first boy that ever made me feel like I didn't need to wear makeup when we hung out or that sweatpants were perfectly acceptable for a lazy Sunday together. But most importantly, the first boy that ever got the chance to break my heart.

Some days I regret ever letting you into my life. But most days however, Im grateful for all of the lessons you taught me. Lessons on what love actually feels like. Before you, I didn't know I could be so happy and feel so beautiful. And I most definitely didn't know that my heart could smile the way it did. But now I fear my heart will never smile like that again.

I look at love as a drug. You made me crave your attention and your kind words and actions. Then once we decided to go our separate ways, I felt the comedown from the high. I realized how much I relied on that drug to make me feel good. And now, anytime a memory consumes my mind, I crave the drug that was once your love.

Fortunately for me, some of the lessons you taught me will save me from experiencing this same heartbroken pain later on in life. A lesson that there will come a day when I'll meet someone and finally let my guard down again for the first time since you and I dated. As of right now, my guard is up and my standards are right there with it. One day though, I know a boy will walk into my life and prove to me that my heart can love just as much as it did when you were by my side. But for now, I know that it is acceptable to be heartbroken and not let anybody else in. I now know that when the boy that convinces me to let this guard down comes around, he will be worth it and he will be the one that deserves my everything. My love, my family's love, my time, and my whole heart. And for that, I thank you.

I know for a fact that I do not need a boy to make me happy. You helped me recognize how much of an independent person I really am. I am capable of taking care of myself, being happy, and having fun. I don't need someone by my side for everything. Although it was nice having your hand to hold along the way, its not a fundamental part of who I am and who I want to be. So for that, I thank you.

One of the best lessons you taught me was not to be so naive. The fact that a boy can sit there for a year and a half and look me in the eyes and tell me they love me, yet have a new girlfriend a week after we break up, proves to me the kind of boy I do not want to be with. I only want to be with a boy that loves me so hard that they cannot get over it or even imagine getting over it. Only then will I ever trust and love another boy again. I guess the Script was right when they said, "when a heart breaks, it don't break even."

I do not regret having you in my life because you have taught me so many wonderful things about love. As a matter of fact, I think I may always love you and want you to be a part of my life. You were my first everything and you always will be. You'll be the guy I tell my little girl about after her first heartbreak. You'll be the reason I grow up and marry a man that actually deserves my love. You'll be the guy I will thank for teaching me how fragile my heart is and how to take care of it in such a cruel world.