We were friends in high school. You were the one who got me. You made me feel so good about myself. You made me laugh really hard, smile even harder and you made my life so much brighter. You were something different and so exciting. All of my friends were convinced that you liked me, I always shut it down because I never thought of you in that way. They always told me that you talked about me constantly and I will admit that I was flattered by it but never thought much of it. I was never the girl that guys chased after and that was more then okay with me. You were the person that I could be myself around and not be nervous. I realized it way too late that I had feelings for you, the night of our senior prom. The way that you assured me that the girl who were going with was just as a friend should have made it so clear to me but that went right over my head and right to why are you telling me this. I was in denial for the longest time. I did eventually, too late, admit to you that I had feelings for you, it was the first time that I had ever admitted any feelings for any boy ever. You sweetly told me that you did not feel the same way and saw us as just friends and to be honest that killed me. You have no idea how much it hurt to hear you say that. I was so sure about you and about the way that you felt about me. You swore up and down that we could still be friends and that we would talk more. I should have known right then and there that you were lying but I stupidly believed you. It eventually came back to kick me in the butt when you started becoming more and more distant and me sitting there wondering what in the world I had done to deserve it. The answer? Nothing. I had done nothing and it took me YEARS to see it. Since the last time we talked, over six years ago now, you have tried to reach out to me in various ways, you have tried to text me and add me on various forms of social media but you never would let me see anything of yours. It was always a one sided follow. You would never let me follow you back. I wonder what goes through your head when you try to add me, it is as if you forgot what happened and that must be nice for you. I however have not forgotten and never will. You do not get that I cannot let you back in. I cannot simply forget it. It is not that easy for me. You are so toxic to me now. You are the reason why I have trouble letting people in getting close to them. I cannot talk to you because it hurts way too much. It kills me knowing that you are now, six years later, trying to worm your way back into my life, where was this effort then? YOU were the one who let me walk out of your life without a single word, not a peep, not a fight, nothing. You just let it happen. I cannot fathom what in the world makes you think that I would ever want to talk to you again. You are the worst. I am done with you. You are no longer welcome in my life, please understand that.
RelationshipsAug 15, 2017
To the boy who will never get why I cannot talk to him anymore.
please stop trying to get back into my life.
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