To The Boy I Hurt That Hurt Me First
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Relationships

To The Boy I Hurt That Hurt Me First

A bittersweet apology to the guy that made me afraid of relationships

Andria Padilla
Nov 15, 2017
The State University of New York at Stony Brook
449
To The Boy I Hurt That Hurt Me First
Unsplash

I’m sorry my arms grew too tired to hold you when you kept digging your nails into my skin.

I’m sorry I let you slip between my fingers when you were struggling to hold on.

I’m sorry I finally started loving myself just when you started loving me.

I’m sorry for every tear you shed when mine had since dried.

I’m sorry for finding someone new and moving on while you still recount our last few precious days.

I’m sorry I go on with my life while my presence still lingers in your thoughts.

I’m sorry for every new girl you lure indo they know they’re suffocated by my shadow? That the bright of their shine is dulled to you simply because they’re not me?

I’m sorry for every call I answered after it was over, for every little shard of hope I gave you that stabbed your wounds and made them fresh again.

I’m sorry for every time you looked at me like I was all you ever wanted when all I wanted was to be free.

I’m sorry that you weren’t my soulmate, even though I was yours.

I’m sorry for every beautiful moment we shared that I fail to remember, and I’m sorry for the ones we never got a chance to make.

I’m sorry that you prayed for me to be a part of your future when mine was still completely uncharted.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t wait for you to see how much I cared about you before I started caring more about myself.

I’m sorry I had to dismantle your life to start living my own.

I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.

I hope that someday we’ll cross paths and we will both have matured from the careless kids we used to be; we could try again and something beautiful could blossom from the little seed we planted that refused to grow.

But for now, this is goodbye.

I’m sorry.

A thousand times over,

I’m sorry.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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