It's been a while since we last talked, since the night we decided to end things. I know this sounds cliché, but the guilt is still eating away at me. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling I hurt you. You meant the world to me, and I still care about you more than you know. I can’t r3est, knowing how badly your heart is hurting.
This doesn’t mean that you aren’t a wonderful guy.
Distance, physical and emotional, destroyed what we had. It wasn’t something either of us could control. You certainly shouldn’t blame yourself. I certainly don’t blame you or anyone else. It was just the timing of it all, the way things had to be. I’m sorry the cards were dealt this way, and I don’t think either of us had favor in this decision.
It probably hurt me more than it hurt you.
I brought the whole argument up, I put the nail in the coffin, and I was the one to ultimately decide to end things.
It killed me to drive away, and I had a much harder time waking up the next morning to remember what I did. You were so considerate and so kind, even as it was happening. Trust me when I say that the guilt is more than enough penance.
I wish I could have given you everything you deserve. You deserved happiness in every way possible.
I was never able to provide that for you, especially from this far away. I just want you to enjoy your life and stop living it through pictures on a screen, and I thought this was the answer. Maybe someday you’ll understand, or at least forgive me.
Please don’t let this discount all the amazing memories we had together.
We were best of friends, taking on the world as a team. You made me stronger than I had ever been, and I brought you out from under the weight of your insecurities. We made each other better, and you were exactly what I needed at the time. I loved you, really and truly, and I’m glad we got to be together. Please don’t let the end of this season taint the rest of the joy.
I want you to find love.
I used to be able to give you that kind of soul-lifting happiness that seemed to shoot out of your fingertips. But when it comes down to it, I can't do that for you anymore. I want you to find a girl that gives you butterflies, keeps your heart warm. I want you to find someone that you're so in love with, it knocks you off your feet.
I thought this would make you happier.
You taught me that I was capable of love, and I owe you for that. I'm sorry, and I know this isn't enough reassurance to heal the damage I've done. You're a great person, but I'm just not in love with you anymore.