The black sheep in a sea of white sheep.
In other words, the weirdo of the family. Well, I guess you could say that's me.
Growing up, I was considered different - the wild one. Being part of a strict religious upper-class family that had conservative values, I never got to explore the world like most kids did. AKA, there was no trust, and no matter what I did, I was still practically guarded against the world.
Pretty much, if it didn't revolve around my family in some way, I was banned from doing it.
Which, as everyone knows who knows me, is not how I roll, which led to some interesting Sunday dinners and holidays.
I remember when I was in high school, and I was sitting in my room crying because my "mom" got on my case about something or the other (it was more frequent than you can think), and my dad came downstairs and consoled me. He told me, "I was the black sheep of my family too. Every family has to have one."
And since then, I was officially labeled the black sheep of my family.
Like, I had nothing in common with my family. My family loves dancing, I prefer cinema and photography. My family chooses Italian food, you'll see me grubbing on an enchilada. My family talks everyone's ear off, I prefer to sit back and listen. My family holds money as the key to happiness and success, whereas I believe money is the root of all evil and happiness is found within one's soul.
The biggest difference? They never understood mental illness, which was a major issue for me (diagnosed with manic depression aka bipolar.)
I became helpless- I wanted my family to accept me and my quirks. So, I tried to conform myself to be a white sheep.
Which, never lasted. I tried to believe their beliefs, side with their opinions rather than my own, and what's worse? I began to allow them to psycho-analyze me themselves. As long as they were happy, I was happy. Until I wasn't.
In fact, I was miserable, and everyone started to notice. I became bitter, self-absorbed, and I lost sight of the person who was always there for me: myself.
To all of the black sheep flocked with the white, the odd ducks in the pond, the round pegs, or the misfits from the Island of Misfit Toys, don't ever change yourself for people who don't accept you.
My dad said it best - there's always gonna be a black sheep in the family, and why is that an issue? Because we have our own voice and can stand up for ourselves and the people we love? There is a beauty in being a misfit because we are strong, boundless, and invincible.
Be yourself, and love who you are. Get those tattoos, get the job that makes you happy, and do you, despite what the haters have to say about you.
