To Lesly,
I'm here to help you!
My problem with your recent article isn’t the point you were trying to convey, it was the tone of you your article that made me angry and upset. My article isn’t about my opinions on suicide or to criticize your opinions on suicide, it’s to help you understand setting a specific type of tone to your readers. Throughout life you’ll find that you share similar opinions with people. But at the same time, you’ll come to find that you disagree with people as well, and that’s ok! It’s perfectly fine for everyone to have their own opinions about things, and debate with one another, but why try and force your opinion down other people’s throats? Would you want someone to force theirs down your throat? I don’t think anyone would, so why do it to others?
Now to be honest, I didn’t disagree with you completely… but I also didn’t agree with some of your points. Do I care to share what I agreed and disagreed with? No, because that’s not the point of this article. The point I am trying to convey is to consider your audience and who might come across your article. I’m not saying you need to cater to all of your readers, because let's be practical, you can’t please everyone. Nor should you have too, it’s your opinion and your article. But I also don’t believe attacking peoples opinions and aggressively stating yours is the best approach. Which for me personally, is how I felt reading your piece. If that’s what you wanted, then by all means go for it! I’m just trying to help you understand how some of your readers felt when reading your article and to give you some advice.
Take into account musicians and actors, when they’re on stage performing, they have an audience. Well, so do we. While most of the time their audience can be seen, ours can’t. Nonetheless it’s still important to acknowledge them when writing a piece that will be seen. How do we do that exactly? By determining the right tone and structure beforehand. Ask yourself, how do you want a reader to react to your writing? Think about how you want to phrase certain sentences, consider the appropriate language to use, understand people have different opinions, demonstrate the pertinent compassion and emotion to use for your piece, but most of all guide your reader. Whenever you’re writing, you’re telling a story from start to finish. Whether it be a journal, an essay, an article, or a story. Guide them through your feelings from start to finish, in chronological order of your story. This will not only improve your writing, but it will make the reader capture the appropriate mood you’re trying to set.
I now want to bring your attention to a few lines of your article that could have definitely been written with a little more compassion and thought.
"It's cruel. It's wrong. It's disgusting. What's done is done. Instead of glorifying someone who has caused an insurmountable amount of pain on so many people, why not talk about how stupid of a decision it was?"
Suicide is a VERY sensitive topic that should be carefully thought out when writing a piece that will be seen by others. That portion of your article in particular had no thought or compassion whatsoever. Maybe you didn’t want it too, but in the long run let’s be honest, it hurt your article. The lack of compassion and emotion made me feel angry and defensive because I felt there were no empathetic feelings towards his death. It felt like the 41 years he spent on earth and the music he left behind meant nothing. Instead it just felt judgmental for the way he ended his life. And instead of taking a different approach to the subject, you basically took your claws out and started spewing your opinion. Rather than calling his suicide, “cruel, wrong, disgusting, and stupid” you could have stated you didn’t feel his decision to kill himself was right and that there were better options to consider. In addition, telling his fans they’re glorifying him for causing pain could have been written differently. You failed to take into consideration that’s how his fans are coping with the loss of someone they essentially grew up with over time… As a Linkin Park fan, I understand what you mean by putting his music back on the charts and stating it’s showing people we’ll shine a light on your life after you’re gone, but I don’t agree it’s glorifying suicide. So you could have written, “A lot of the media shines light into what they left behind, making it seem as if you decide to take your life you'll be considered headlining news. But once the media finds something else to put in their headlines, the light will be shined on someone or something else. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and there is help for you!"
"If music wasn't fulfilling, you could have tried making a change, not end your friggin' life. Does no one else see how incredibly selfish this is?"
The problem I felt with this section of your article was that it was very judgmental and very close minded. You failed to forget that we didn’t live his life, we don’t know if he tried to make a change. A better choice of words would have been, “Chester might have felt he was out of options and that ending his life was the only option he had left, but there is ALWAYS an option. If you feel there is no other way, remember this: There are always people there to help fight those battles inside of you. You are never alone!”
You stated you wanted to help prevent suicide. Well demonstrate that through examples. Explain WHY in your eyes it would be a selfish act instead of simply calling it selfish. Paint a picture for your readers explaining why. Tell them to consider ONE person who cares. One person whose life would be broken and empty if they decided to end their life. A parent, a friend, anyone whose life would be crushed. Then offer yourself. Tell that reader that you’re there and want to help them. Open your inbox to someone who might just need a friend to listen. Be that friend. Telling people suicide is selfish isn't helping the problem, but offering to listen can help save someone.
Another point I want to shine some light on was the “friggin’ life” part of this section. I felt much better wording could have been put in place of that. It not only looks less professional, but it doesn’t make readers such as myself take you seriously. Your choice of words make me believe you’re still in middle or high school when we would say “freakin'." It just doesn’t sound professional and I KNOW you’re much more capable of better wording. Your ideas and writing is good, just set a different tone and you'll be golden!
“I hope someone battling depression or contemplating suicide reads this and says, 'Damn that would be a stupid thing to do'".
Again, your wording gives the wrong impression you want to convey. This section didn't feel compassionate to someone who might be considering suicide. Instead it just felt like I wanted to brush this article off my shoulder and continue with my day. When ending a piece, make a statement that people will remember! So instead you could have written, "I hope someone battling depression or contemplating suicide reads this and considers their life to be a gift. I hope they feel like they're NOT alone and there's people who care. I hope I brought a different kind of approach when talking about suicide. But most importantly, I hope they think twice of the people they'll leave behind and realize there's a reason to keep breathing and keep fighting."
I didn't mean to tear your article apart and I apologize if it seemed that way. I was just trying to state some of your focal points could have been written differently to better explain what you wanted to say. I hope you can understand that and be open minded to my advice like I was to your article.
As I stated before, the purpose of this article wasn’t to tell your your opinions were wrong, it was to suggest you take a different approach with your tone and mood when writing and to guide your reader to be open minded to your opinion. I also wanted to help you and let you know even though a lot of people weren’t happy with you or your writing you shouldn’t be judged off of one article. Make a change and write a new piece that will blow people away! Never stop writing, writing is one of the best things life has to offer and can give anyone the power to change the world. As my teacher once said, "you can only be a better writer by continuing to write more!"
From one writer to another,
Sabrina :)