Since being single, I have talked to a lot of guys. I've gone on a lot of dates. I've restarted multiple times.
In the time that I've been single, I've "almost" dated a handful of guys. Almost.
There have been some really great guys in that mix and some really bad ones.
But I have turned into the "almost" girl. That is literally the name I have given myself.
The girl that talks to a guy for months "casually" in hopes of eventually dating them for them to just turn around and pretty much scream in your face "YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH." The girl that tells all of her friends about the guy she's been seeing, but the guy never mentions a word to anyone about her.
See Also: Oh, Him? We Almost Dated...
I'm sick and tired of being the almost girl. I'm sick of guys looking at me and saying "just not right now" because truth is, if they really saw something in me, all of those lame excuses wouldn't even be something to worry about.
But why do we put the blame on ourselves? Why is it so easy to say we're not good enough for the "absolutely" instead of the "almost, maybe"? Why can't we just admit to ourselves that these guys don't really give a crap about us and move on? I'm going to stop making myself the "almost" girl. I'm going to wait for someone who doesn't make a million excuses to be with me and find someone who can't get enough of me.
I just have to tell myself that I'm worth more than being the almost girl. That being called that name isn't what I am.
Those guys that almost dated me weren't even worth it. I was just wanting someone to love me so bad that I went for any guy that texted me. I knew all of those guys couldn't love me the way I needed to be loved. I just appreciated the daily "how are you" and the occasional mediocre date.
So it doesn't even matter. It doesn't matter that I'm the almost girl because those guys that I almost dated wouldn't have given me anything that I really needed. It saved me from a lot of wasted time, and it could possibly be saving me for the right guy. The guy that's going to change this "almost" girl into the girlfriend.
For now, I will sit and be the girl that a lot of guys have "talked" to but never dated. For now, I'm okay with being the almost girl. Because one day I'm going to wake up and this "almost" girl is going to be the "absolutely" girl after all this time.