Dear Soldier,
With your gun by your side and your helmet on your head. I see the pain in those eyes, that have seen far more than ever intended. Putting on a mask day by day, trying to fight the urge to scream to the world, why it has to be so cruel. Pretending it doesn't kill you everyday to be away from your family and friends and your home. That it doesn't kill you inside to know that at any moment, you can go to war and take your last breath.
How are you supposed to be okay?
You are strong, there is no doubt in that. But how much of that strength can you pretend you're okay? How much can you take of all the pain and war before you hit your breaking point. What you do isn't easy, far from it. At the end of the day, while your family is sleeping soundly in their beds, you lie awake at night, hoping they don't forget what the smile on your face once looked like.
You wonder what it would be like to return home. Will it ever be the same? Will you be able to walk in those doors, hug your kids and life will go back to normal? You pray it does...but deep inside you know your life will never been the same.
You've seen things, most could never dream of being able to stomach seeing. Fellow soldiers, men and women that have become not only friends, but family, falling at your feet. Having to see them die in combat or, sometimes worse, by their own hands.
How much horror can you handle, before you break?
How long can you suffer in silence, before the pain becomes unbearable?
The thoughts of your life, post military eat away at you. You know your family is proud, you know you're doing a great thing protecting them all back home...but at what cost to you?
Why must you feel that keeping silent about the pain is the answer? As if, your inner pain wouldn't be taken as seriously as an outer battle wound. Your mental health, is just as important as physical health.
The things you have seen, the things you have done, you wish to never speak of. Look what can happen if you don't. Soldiers around the world are taking their lives because they cannot bare to relive the horrors that replay in their minds whenever their head hits the pillow.
When was the last time you were able to sleep without being awoken by a nightmare?
Solder, you are strong, but nobody should force themselves to be so strong that they break. You must know your limit. If you ever feel the urge to end it all, seek help. We all would rather see you alive, admitting to the world the horror has done a number on you. Than to see another casket with that american flag draped across.
Your family wants you alive, your follow Americans that thank you for your sacrifice want you alive. Please, get the help you deserve!
Signed,
The girl who can't see another soldier take his life...