To my best friend, womb mate, and the keeper of my secrets,
This one's for you, my lovely little sis. I lie here in my bed on this cold December night thinking about you and missing you. Every day is hard being apart at different colleges -- well some days are harder than others, like tonight. I think back to the moments when we were kids around this time of year, how we'd get home from school and jump straight into our Christmas PJ's and play with our dolls. How we would write our Christmas lists and talk about what we'd hope Santa would bring us.
We always looked forward to the American Girl holiday magazine issue so we could choose our favorite things on each page. Remember those hilarious matching cheetah print slippers mom made us wear in the winter? And how we'd put on our bathrobes over our warm PJ's -- even though we were so hot in them, just to make ourselves feel fancy and in the Christmas mood? Remember how we'd hang each ornament on the tree? Sharing with each other our favorite ones and the stories we would make up for them. Or when we'd dance around the Christmas tree singing Christmas songs and sliding around in our fuzzy socks? How we'd try to guess what was wrapped in each present under the tree without shaking it?
Oh and our favorite part, I know you remember, don't you?! When dad would drive us around after dinner and take us to look at Christmas lights . . . We'd sing along to the Christmas songs on the Delilah station, bundled up in our favorite PJ's, eating McDonald's hot fudge sundaes as we counted all the light up nativity scenes. Oh, how I love these memories!
As the years went by and we got older, that cheer and joy never faded -- your eyes always lit up every Christmas morning just as they had when we were five-years-old. The American Girl magazines turned to Ulta and Target magazines, and the cheetah print slippers no longer fit being replaced by rad Christmas tree socks. We still guessed the gifts but had learned to wrap and give our own for others to guess at.
The love in your heart for the kid's names on the tree at church grew just as we did -- each year picking an angle and filling a shoebox. Together we'd walk down the aisles of Walmart, looking for the very best gifts for these children. Though life started to get busy with school, sports, and friends, we always made time for the nightly drives down the streets with the twinkling Christmas lights. We still drank hot cocoa and watched Charlie Brown Christmas and went to the cookie walk at that little old church.
Things have changed monumentally since then though . . . you went up north and I stayed back home. Each December a little different than the last, a little harder to get through without you right by my side. But, my beautiful sister the thing that always keeps me going is knowing I'll get to see you soon every time as Christmas nears. That the end of the semester offers a welcoming journey back home where I know you'll always come back to.
Yes, it's not like it used to be but to me, these Christmas holidays are much more special and more meaningful because the few days I get to spend with you, I cherish greatly. I look forward to the laughs and giggles we're still able to share like when we were kids; how we can drive each other around looking at Christmas lights and talking about life, catching up like old times. I look forward to the early mornings spent in front of the tree as we traded in our hot cocoa and marshmallows for hot coffee (who would have thought we’d be coffee drinkers right?!) and talk about our dreams.
The anticipation of Christmas morning when you and I still come running down the stairs, sharing those same smiles and joyful cheer, as we turn on the music and the yule log fireplace channel. The tree will sparkle just like your gleaming blue eyes little sis, and I pray that glimmer of light you hold in them never fades, for it always reminds me of our memories made, of the December's we've shared, of the magic the seems to fill the air when you are near.
Love and missing you always,
Your big sis