Dearest Glass Protector,

Where do I begin? How could I possibly cram the amount of admiration and utter awe for what you have and will always do for me? Not to mention that you have unlimited relationships with everyone who owns something electronic. This of course also means that your siblings and cousins and cousins sisters cousins are always up for a challenge. Kudos - seriously.

Perhaps it's selfish of me, to think that you are only there for me when I need it, but I wanted to express my true gratitude. You are an excellent friend, provider, caregiver, and protector of life (see what I did there?). I am staring at you now (I am so sorry if that is creepy... you can forgive me later) in sheer shock. You are excellent, and although I have shared many of your siblings with my various phones and accessories - you by far - are the best. Thank you for everything you have and are still doing, you are the best.

Love,

The Human With The Electronics

Dear Protector,

Today... oh Gawd... how do I say this? How do I begin to express what has happened? HOW? Alright... well GSP... today. Ugh. Why can't I get the words out? Ok... one more try - today... my phone took a tumble. I recognize that this does not generally seem like much of a concern, though the context in which it did so is still baffling. I picked it up (the full 3 inches it fell) and wiped the imaginary dust off of the screen. I say imaginary because I myself can see it, but other people may not (I think it's a phone owner thing... you know?) I looked down at you, as I usually do when I begin to unlock my phone... and that's when I saw it. You... Gawds, why does it have to be me to tell you? Alright... You were shattered. My mouth was gaping as the shock overwhelmed me. 3 damn inches, as if that was any distance or length at all, but there you were... shattered. I am so sorry. SO very sorry that you have come to your end, you were an amazing friend. You gave your life so that my phone could live. YOU GAVE YOUR LIFE. I will not forget you, friend. I will not forget the sacrifice you made, and as I peeled you from my phone - to replace you with your brother - I will cherish you a moment longer. You did not die in vain. I appreciate everything you did for us. Know that in your brief life, you were loved.

Love,

The Human With The Electronics

In all seriousness - my glass screen protector has been on point for years (I say this with the knowledge that you know new ones were purchased at some point). There are many people who can agree with me, that they are a fortunate find and a worthy purchase. My iPhone has crashed to the floor on more than one occasion (I'm sorry Lil-buddy), and in the event that the "screen" cracked, it was always the glass screen protector. They are definitely worth purchasing (you can buy them for $5 at Five and Below or wherever). Think about the benefits - a drunk night could turn into $300+ or it could be a simple $5. Your choice.