To My Ex Best Friends, Thank You.

To My Ex Best Friends, Thank You.

For unknowingly helping me through the loss of you.

I know you might think this is sarcastic, but I'm serious thank you.

Thank you for the memories I get to tell my new friends. For the endless laughs, and the nights I was too drunk to really recollect what actually happened.

For something to talk about, for something to think about- thank you.

Thank you for the pictures, because a picture says one thousand words. For the memories engraved in them, for the smiles. For the happiness that went along with them, and for something to look back to- to remember all the monumental things that happened. For the hugs, the kisses, the laughter.

For something to remember, a memory at the palm of my hand- thank you.

Thank you for hidden meaning in every song. For that warm cozy feeling that fills my heart everytime a verse plays over the speaker. For the dance moves that went with it, and the chorus I hear in my head.

For the meanings, that will never slip my mind and the words that are decoded in my brain forever.

Thank you for the growth. Not just during our friendship but after, for teaching me that it's not always my fault, that sometimes it takes forgiving too.

For someone to grow with, and for being the cheerleaders who helped me grow along the way.

Thank you for the shoulders to cry on. For helping me through my first heartbreak, for letting me know its ok. For never letting me settle for less, for always pushing me beyond my boundaries.

For the tissues, the advice that I will utter out of my mouth to my new friends.

Thank you for the love that you placed in my heart. For showing me that sometimes girlfriends are your real soulmates. For the love, you always covered me with, for showing me how a real friend loves.

For the hugs for no reason, for telling me you love me when getting out of the car. (the drunk ones were always my favorite).

Thank you for the new beginnings you granted me. For letting me walk when I asked to walk, for never pushing me away. For always wanting the best, and checking up on me when I was away.

For the best wishes, and the good lucks. Unknowingly you helped me through the loss of you.

Cover Image Credit: Brooke Albright

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To the girl who left us behind

You may have thought that it was best for you, but in reality you were only helping us

To the girl who left us behind,

I graduated in 2017. Nearly one year ago. When you graduate you expect to stay in touch with some people, but you accept that there are some people who you will probably never see again, let alone talk to. After walking across the stage, getting my diploma and attending all of the graduation parties I said goodbye to some people, forever, without even knowing it.

For almost as long as I can remember I have had three best friends. We were practically inseparable since 6th or 7th grade. It was rare that you would see one of us without at least one or two others around. We spent weekends at each others houses, played on the same sports teams, joined the same clubs, and practically did everything together. The boys that we would hang out with would make fun of us because they noticed it seemed to them that we couldn’t do anything without the others. It wasn’t that we couldn’t do anything alone, we just enjoyed being around each other, we were best friends.

That was until we graduated. We were best four best friends until we walked across the stage, said our goodbyes after the final graduation party and parted ways as we went to college. It didn’t even take until college to see who was really my friends of the four of us, it was less than a week before I never heard from one of my so called best friends ever again. And for this, I could not be more thankful.

In our group of four there was always a clear line, two and two. I loved the other two girls but I was always just better friends with one girl. It had been like this for forever, and everyone knew it, not just us. But once we graduated it became extremely true. But it didn’t break two and two. It was one and three. And this was sad and frustrating at first, and then ended up being a great thing, for all of us.

Nearly 9 months without talking and I knew all hope for the friendship was gone once i saw she tweeted ‘my biggest glow up feature in college was my friends’. At the time yes, this pissed me off. I texted my other friends as soon as I saw it and sad things like “I don’t know what is worse, that we were great friends and put up with her shit. Or that we still sat in that house last week, were the bigger people and acted like nothing ever happened even though we all know we don’t talk to her anymore.” The amount of time I spent with this girl, the amount of secrets of mine she held, the amount of late night memories we shared and there was nothing, no explanation, no final goodbye. Just complete silence. There was that tweet which made it pretty clear she had no interest in being friends with us anymore.

But it made me a better person. I realized that the entire time we had been friends she was tearing me down. She was killing my happiness and I never even noticed it. Our relationship was a toxic one and she did me the biggest favor in the world by cutting me off, because I was afraid to do it myself.

She thinks her biggest ‘glow up’ was her friends. And knowing her, that is probably exactly what she believes. But that is NOT mine. My biggest glow up was growing up, realizing my worth and surrounding myself with people who truly care about me and radiate positivity. And I am thankful and blessed that the people I have surrounded myself with now continue to be with me through this entire process. I am continuing to learn everyday that people who make you feel like you’re not worth anything are never worth your time. I have grown and realized that you can give someone one million chances, you can give them all of your time and love and compassion and understanding. But if they don’t want it or they think they are to good for it than you are better off being left on read, or completely left behind. AND THAT IS OK.


The girl who is finally happy now that you're gone

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5 Thoughts You Have During Big/Little Week

Where are all of these gifts coming from?

Big/Little week can be an exciting, but stressful week for anyone involved. Not only are you dying to know who your big is, but to top it off, it seems like everyone else knows except you.

Despite how many times you ask, your roommates will not tell you who has been coming in your room every day to drop off fantastic gifts. Every gift you recieve is carefully examined for any clues hinting at who is going be your big in one short week.

No matter how many times you hope you’ll catch the mysterious sorority sister in your room, she is always too quick to end up in the same place as you.

1. Who is this random Facebook page that requested me?

Why are there pictures of me from middle school throwing up a peace sign with a bunch of ridiculous stickers attached? Which of my friends is gathering these awful pictures and sending them in just to spite me?

3. Are these hints legit?

Is it possible that my big has a dog? Yes. Is it possible that she has 2 brothers? Yes. Is it possible that she is related to Zac Efron? Probably not.

4. When is she coming next?

Have they already dropped off gifts? Did they bring more snacks? Will I get better hints? The walk back to the dorm from classes is one of the most agonizing times.

5. Who is it?

I still have yet to learn how to sit through a class without thinking about my big instead of focusing on my class. Thankfully this process is only a week or I might have to redo this semester.

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