This past year, being in a new environment, I have been guilty of rolling the “all boys are the same” phrase off of my tongue. It seems as though the more boys that I meet, the more often I use this phrase. But there’s one thing I always seem to forget to take into consideration; my boys from back home.

With every bad relationship, comes a lot of bad aftermath. The ruins of these relationships are not always pretty, but when you have people around you whose souls are, the outcome is more beautiful than before the aftermath.

Time is something very fragile. With only 24 hours in each day, our attention given to others is very limited, or so each toxic relationship I have ever encountered has shown me. Thankfully, my boys back home have shown me otherwise. No matter what the miles are, and no matter what time of day it is, my boys are always there, whether that means a drive down to university or a FaceTime call. If you are important to someone, they will make the time to be a part of your life. If you find yourself having to fight for someone’s time and attention, they are not worth yours. So, thank you to my boys from back home for telling me that you miss me and meaning it.

Your mind and soul can be a beautiful thing if you share it with the right person or people. This can be a terrifying concept, but if you are truly comfortable with someone, you will find yourself sharing pieces of yourself with them that have never been shared out loud before. Never allow yourself to share your energy with someone who does not value what you truly have to offer within who you are. So, thank you to my boys from back home for knowing me better than I know myself and still making it a point to love me despite my quirks.

Success, a seven-letter word that holds no weight unless you have people there to share it with. Do not be the girl who allows herself to live in someone else’s shadow by giving all she has to give and receiving nothing from the other end. Instead, be the girl that radiates because she allows others to shine with her. No flower can blossom without the help of a little water and sun. If you find yourself receiving no water, and no sun, leave. Nothing beautiful comes from a withered soul. So, thank you to my boys from back home for not tearing me down, but instead building me up into a girl who now knows what she wants and what she deserves.

So, this one is for my boys from back home. I call them “my boys” not to place ownership on them, but because they are my best friends as I am theirs and together, they are men, real men. They have shown me that yes, boys and girls can be just friends but also that the label of a relationship does not have to be the defining factor of how a woman should be treated by a man. It is because of them that I know not to settle for any less than what I bargain for. So, thank you, for not only holding my hand, but holding my heart as well and showing me that not all boys are the same.