I'm sure you've heard it all, from eating ice cream to going out with your girlfriends is the perfect way to heal your broken heart. But no matter how many gallons of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream you eat or crazy girl night out adventures you encounter nothing can fix a broken heart except you. What do I mean? Let me explain.

When you lose someone like your significate other you not only go through a dramatic life change but a realization of who you are and who you want to be. This is the time to focus on you and let yourself change for the better. By accepting this, you start to take back your power.

Now it's easy to sit here and say "I am going to change" but it's harder to actually commit to the words and turn them into actions. First and foremost you need to let yourself feel. It's a common misunderstanding that right after we get our heart broken we need to move on as soon as possible. You need time to let yourself mourn; listen to love songs, look through the Snapchat memories, even read through old messages. It'sokay.

In order to let someone go we need time to grieve about them, so take as much as time you need to cry, scream, and feel the pain. Don't let it consume or take complete control of you but let it play out. This doesn't mean it won't hurt to think about them but it does mean you are taking a step to leaving behind the past and starting fresh.

As soon as you have passed the grieving stage you can start to find your own happiness. From drinking a cup of coffee, to going on a run, or even putting on makeup, do something that makes you happy. It may seem silly, why am I getting excited about my morning cup of coffee? But as time goes on and you'll find that it's important to have your own excitement, it helps develop a small level of independence you may have lost or never had during your relationship.

Now you're in a weird place, you aren't over your ex but you're slowly starting to feel yourself grow. Where do you go from here? You start to focus. Ask yourself, what do you want to do in life? Make a list, mental or physical, search outside the box for ideas and thoughts that you might and will pursue, even if it's as simple as getting a degree or buying an apartment. Focus on goals; every step counts. You will see you have a purpose and you have worthwith or without a boy by your side.

Caution: Remember that not every day will be great. Even though you are starting fresh and seeing a new light, there will be days where you're back at square one. Like in the beginning, it is critical for you to grieve and even if it's months or years later, everyone has their breakdowns. It's okay. You are human and you cannot control that you miss or think about someone. And do not be scared to share those feelings, communicate those feelings and fly free of them as you do.

It's almost over, you're starting to see a new and approved you and life is turning a brand new leaf. But all this work isn't so you can go running back or jump into another relationship, soyou have to breathe. Emotionally and physically breathe for you, look outside at the world around you and appreciate yourself and the people who have helped you grow. Think of yourself as a flower who is newly blossomed and ready to grow as tall as possible before being tied down again. Because you have to love yourself before letting someone else love you.

This will be a never-ending challenge as the train of heartbreaks is too hard and long for every girl but think of it like this; each one is a new slate, a new me. How exciting is that? You have the power. And that is how you heal your broken heart.