Let me just admit, I miss you.
I used to pretend that I didn't, but I think a part of me always will. I miss our late night FaceTime calls, when one of us would always fall asleep but the other one never hung up. I miss how we could talk for hours about anything, and you'd always find a way to make me laugh. I miss making fun of the way you seemed to forget everything, and how intense you got about video games. I miss the way you laughed at my dumb jokes and never judged me for my lack of football knowledge. I miss the feeling you gave me. You made me feel like I was special, and like what I thought mattered. You made me feel important. Most of all, I miss being a part of your life.
The night we ended it, I cried for two hours straight. I sobbed until I couldn't breathe. My eyes felt like they were on fire. Before then, no one had ever meant as much to me as you did. You were my light when everything seemed dark, and suddenly you were gone. It hurt more than anything to know you didn't want me anymore. Maybe I should've seen it coming. I knew our friendship wasn't perfect, and we had been fighting for a while, but I never thought I'd lose you.
You taught me a lot. You taught me how to be strong, but that sometimes it's okay to be weak. You taught me that when people are bad for you, it's okay to let them go. You taught me how to trust when I thought I never could again. When I was broken, you fixed me, and I'm forever grateful for that.
Sometimes, when I think of you, it hurts. I know you've moved on, and you probably never think of me anymore. As the months have gone by, it's gotten easier, but a piece of my heart still stings when I see a picture of you. Anytime somethings exciting happens, a part of my mind wanders to you, wishing I could tell you all about it. For almost a year, you were the one I told everything to. I trusted you more than I trusted myself.
Lastly, I want to thank you. Thank you for making me smile when all I wanted to do was cry. Thank you for listening to all the dumb things I had to say, and thank you for staying up with me when I couldn't fall asleep. Thank you for making me feel wanted. Thank you for not letting me give up on myself and for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. But mostly, thank you for being my best friend. As much as I try to hate you, you'll always have a place in my heart. I genuinely hope you're happy, and I'm sorry you couldn't find that happiness with me anymore. Although I wish we could've lasted forever, I was blessed to know you.