Growing up is weird.

I feel like I have massive deja vu when I say that, because I've stated that so many times. Getting older is really weird. So many things are changing around us, and it's just...weird. Everyone is going through finding themselves and figuring out the rest of their lives that things happen. Things change. People change.

Everyone has gone through it, losing people. I like to think of our lives as one big story, and the characters that play huge parts in one chapter may not make it to the next. And I'm learning to accept that it's okay. It hurts and it sucks, but it's okay. As a writer myself, thinking of the story of my life is somewhat easy to me. Imagining different scenarios and situations without certain characters, however, is not easy to me. So, for every character that has left, this one is for you.

I want you to know that I'm doing better without you. I wasn't at first, because, like I said, it was hard for me to imagine my story without you in it. But, nonetheless, I learned to live without you and I'm making it without your help, guidance, or support. I've never dealt with loss very well. It's never been easy for me, no matter how close we were.

I want you to know how much you hurt me when you left. I know you don't care, and I know that it didn't bother you to know I was hurting so badly. That's okay. I get it. I don't want you to sympathize with me; that's not what this is for. This isn't for me to show off my new life, or to gain pity from you, mostly because I know I'll never get it from someone as heartless as you. This is for me to gain some kind of closure for myself.

Genuinely, I hope that your story is going as you want it to. I hope college is treating you well, and I hope you get to have every experience you've been dreaming of. I'm not a bitter person towards you, despite what you might think. And I believe that I have reason to be, but I live by the doctrine that you should let your past make you better, not bitter.

I've became such a stronger person because of everything that life has brought me. Losing friends, best friends even, has taught me to appreciate the people that stick around during the hardest of times, like my family has.

To everyone that has came into my life and stayed: thank you. You've given me so much laughter and happiness, and I never thought I would have that again. It feels amazing to have it again.

And to everyone that has lost people along their journey, just know that it isn't over. You're going to hurt for a long time; there's no escaping that. I know how hard it is to move on, but you can do it. You will meet new people that will treat you so much better than they ever did. Nothing is meant to last forever, it just isn't. But loss is something that we all have to deal with from time to time. You will discover how much you're really worth and how you deserve to be appreciated. It will get better, I promise.