I know I sometimes get looks when I hold on to my boyfriends arm for dear life or holding his hand no matter where we are. I know I'm viewed as clingy or over protective. But honestly that's not the case; I need the contact.
I don't always stand near him because he's being looked at by other girls or lay my head on him when we are sitting watching tv because I'm tired. It's something more than that; it's a feeling.
I know I'm not alone on this but there is a need here for constant contact with my boyfriend.
Yes, I'm aware it sounds weird but I need the contact as a form of reassurance. It's almost a way of saying "I need you" or "I love you" without using words.
Depending on the form of contact is ultimately how I'm feeling or what I kind of attention I may need at that time.
Holding his hand.
This is a generic version of contact. But trust me, it's important. When I hold on to his hand, I feel as if he can lead me anywhere but he isn't afraid if I lead him in another direction on the way. Though it could also mean, "I need you" when I squeeze his hand or hold it tight. I often hold his hand when it gets close to the time for him to leave as a way of saying "I don't want you to leave yet." It's also comforting when he grabs my hand and holds it in his while he's driving. There's a feeling of safety that comes from when his fingers and mine are intertwined.
From the first time I laid in his arms, I never found a place that I felt safer. It makes me feel like no matter what, he will protect me. I usually make him cuddle me as we are sleeping, with my head on his should and my hand on his chest where I can feel his heartbeat. It's the most comforting thing. But I also use it as a form of clarity. I cuddle into him when I'm having a bad day or aren't feeling well, and he rubs my back telling me over and over everything will work out for best. I'll also count when I'm laying in his lap while he's playing video games for this because I'll catch him looking down at me while he's playing, making sure I'm okay. Or when I'm leaning on his shoulder from the side.
His hand on my thigh.
I know this may not seem like anything important but it helps me. If I'm looking out the window while he's driving and he feels I'm not myself, he'll put his hand on my thigh; this makes me feel like he pays attention to me. It makes me feel like he cares to know whats wrong. He also places his hand on my thigh while we are out and sitting, it's usually to calm me down from my anxiety, which sometimes happens whens there's a lot of people around.
His arms around my waist.
This isn't just one of my favorite ways that he holds me, but it's also comforting for me and for him. He does this to me sometimes when his anxiety gets bad or when he feel a little down. He wraps his arms around me tight and I rub his arms, letting him know that everything will be okay. This is my favorite because I love that he can hold me like that for many reasons. He does it because it helps him, because he misses me, or because he just wants to. But I also like this because it just nice to be held like that.
There are other ways I like to keep my body in contact with his. But these were my favorite. And I think the ones that are most common. And anyone that seems me with my boyfriend notices it. But on a serious note, the contact between us helps me with anxiety and just overall feel safer than when I'm alone. I need the contact to feel like myself sometimes. The feeling is more than just a crave but rather for clarity that I am okay or that I don't need to worry. I need the contact because sometimes I don't know what to say or words aren't enough at the moment.