To Brian Wisowaty,

Just when you realize-

I will be loving
someone new
Just when you realize
It was me who saved
and held you



I will be with my
New love
Planning a trip
Just when you realize
you are alone again
and losing your grip



I will go to bed with
HIS arms holding me tight
Just when you realize
How lonely you are
Each and every night



I will wake with a smile
Look forward to our day's plan
Just when you realize
You were so lucky
When you were my man



I will not recognize you
When your calling
To casually ask,
How's it going?



You will hear my voice
When you say
What you say



Just then you realize
I am disappointed
Like hearing your voice
ruined my day!



Just then you realize
There is no way
Not again
You won't get me to play
You hang up the phone
and sigh
Knowing down
deep inside



You lost your chance
A long time ago
With the woman
You grew to know
As the one
That was always there
You just didn't care
You threw her away



Then by happenstance one day...



You might catch a glimpse
Of a woman who
looks just like me



She will be walking
Hand and hand with a
Very Good looking man



You hear her giggle
See her smile
See her eyes
That's Ria!
That's the
Woman who loved me
The woman
I despised!



Just then you realize
A feeling
Bubbling up
It's the
Green eye of envy
It will awake
From deep inside



Why are you jealous?
You threw me away



I was crazy, fat and old
Not anyone to be proud of
and to behold
You kept Ria a secret
Hidden and away



Tricking, lying, cheating
Just conning your way...
To groom the next woman
For another place stay



Just then you remember
All the chances you had
To build a life
On the life
That you had



Cared for
Loved, and admired
But Ria didn't have the
Beauty you required



Just then you realize
The life you wanted
Is all that you had
But back then ...
It was too hard
To decide
Which "bitch"
You wanted
To slide into
Night after night



You were high, wild
Lazy, crazy, and
Free
But then again,
You did get an
STD!



Just then you realize
How you lost your way
You had what you wanted
Then you threw it away?
Shaking your head
At the mistakes you made
As they continue to flash
In your minds eye
You see
All the women
You hurt and deceived



Just then you realize
Ria's words from before
You must GIVE love
To feel happy
And to receive
People grow tired
Brian, I promise
This will be
your demise
They'll give up on you
They won't all compromise



Just then you realize
Ria's words ring true
She could no longer
Drink, eat, and breath
Live with poison
That poison that is you



You made it so hard
The lying, cheating
The explosive abuse
Ria
Turned her back
Closed the door
Gave up on hoping
You could ever
Be more



Just then you realize
As you look
To your right
Beside you sits
The woman you chose
It's good, right?
You think about
How little you fight
Night after night



Just then you realize
Well she is not
All that bright
But
She is a beauty
Without a doubt
Stand tall beside her
But
Then again
You shrink
When she opens her mouth
There is
No passion, no giggles, no....
LIFE
But that's alright,
Right?



Just then you realize
The love
Family
Warmth
Success
You desired
Was offered
By that Ria
She begged to be off
Your list
Huh!
Up until today
You forgot she exists
She did love you
So long ago
The woman who
Had to let go



But remember?
Ria
Just was not enough
Not perfect
Not pretty,
She looked kinda rough



You couldn't settle
Not for someone
Not anyone who
Looked like that!



Just then you realize
That old saying is true!
The grass is always greener
And
Greener you chased!



Just then you realize
Years have past
Now all you have
Is a tiny
Patch of grass
It isnt
As green
Nor is it lush
It is not what you wanted



You dont have
That thrill
That Rush
You once felt
From love
The love you were given
By the woman
You kept hidden



Just then you realize
Your life was what
You made it
Scattered at best!
No warmth
Family
A home
You have what
You work for
That's
Nearly
Nothing at all
Just then you realize
What a waste
What a shame
As you look at
The woman
You chose
The one beside you
You did!
You did ,settled after all!



If only you knew
How your ego
Would effect you
Would you go back
Back in time
Would you invest
Your love
Your time
Ria was her name
Should you have
Settled with her instead?





Brian,
Regrets are avoidable
Do what you must, today! Tomorrow's regret
Is bitter and harsh
Regret keeps you
stuck
Self loathing
and hate
It is like poison
You drink
Each and every day!
I no longer drink
The poison you offer
But my advise...



Do what you must
Fix and undo
The pain you inflict on others.
Face your demons
Make them your friend
Use them to grow from
Build your own strength



Time is so limited
You never know
The next moment
Might be your last



As your life flashes
before you I hope
You smile with delight



I dont wish for that
Moment to be full of
Shame
Guilt
Pain
I hope you can learn
How to share,
LOVE
Be fearless...
Try to become a real man.
It will be
Ok in the end
Because you
will have your next
life to begin again!
Ria












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