7 Tips to Help You Survive Your Florida Vacation
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

7 Tips to Help You Survive Your Florida Vacation

Some advice from a Florida native.

7 Tips to Help You Survive Your Florida Vacation
Exploring Florida

I was born in Florida, as was my mother before me, and watching unsuspecting tourists bumble through their family vacations entertained me throughout my childhood. Florida is a beautiful place. If you do it right, you can have the vacation of a lifetime. If you do it wrong, you can end up in the hospital. Follow these essential tips to enjoy the vacation you've always dreamed of.

1. Check the weather before you go.

One of the dumbest things you can do is pack your suitcase full of shorts and tank tops and nothing else. Florida may be the Sunshine State, but it actually rains here about half the year. Bring an umbrella! And yes, it does get cold sometimes. Sure, to me cold means 65 degrees, but that's still cold enough for a sweater! Besides, even if you come in the summer, Walmart is always freezing.

2. Bring sunscreen, and use it.

I really have no idea what people are thinking when, on a sunny day, they head out to the beach with their small innocent children and skimpy clothing and do absolutely nothing to protect their skin from the sun. This is more than stupid - it's dangerous. I once met a kid from New Jersey who had gotten first-degree burns from one too many days on the beach. I know sunscreen smells funny, but it's better to put it on than spend your vacation in the ER.

3. Palm trees are not exciting.

It doesn't provide shade. You can't climb it. It's spiky. It doesn't have fruit, or if it's a coconut one, the fruit is more likely to hit you upside the head than provide you with sustenance. Get over it.

4. If we say hello, say it back.

I get that northerners have this thing where they don't like to have casual interactions with strangers. In Florida, we're a lot more friendly. Please don't ignore us when we greet you on the street.

5. Mosquito repellent.

Once upon a time, long before the condos and ice cream stores, Florida was a swamp. And all the little critters that once lived here are still around, trying to suck your blood. If you don't want to come home itchy, use mosquito repellent and close your windows at night.

6. Check pools for reptiles before you jump in.

This one is a basic that every Floridian knows. Again, Florida was a swamp once. Alligators and snakes still live here, sometimes in your backyard swimming pool. If you do spot something dangerous, don't feed it. The Alligator Hotline is 866-392-4286.

7. Slow down for the retirement community.

Whether it's on the roads or in line at the grocery store, more likely than not there is an old lady in front of you taking her time. Take a deep breath and slooooow dooooown. You're on vacation, right? Relax and enjoy the Florida sights at 20 miles-per-hour for a few blocks. You never know, you might end up retiring here too.

And that's it. Sit back, grab your Pina Colada, and enjoy your vacation.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

In an already unprecedented political landscape, things aren't looking so bright for mail-in voters heading into November's election. In 46 states and Washington D.C., post offices received a warning that mail-in ballots may not be counted on time to count on election day, according to a report by the Washington Post.

Keep Reading... Show less

"New Girl" is one of the best sitcoms of all time. Honestly, it is so much fun to watch, so much fun to relate to, just all around a great show.

Not only is a great show, it has so many different great settings, obviously including the loft. If you live by Nick Miller quotes and desperately tried to learn how to play "True American," you need to buy these things because you are a true "New Girl" fan.

Keep Reading... Show less

You know those items you've been pinning to your Home board on Pinterest for [insert amount of time]? Well, it's officially the moment to turn that wishlist into a married life reality, and it's going to be SO fun.

But, before you get to shopping and adding things to your upgraded bridal wishlist (sorry, Pinterest, it was lovely while it lasted), you'll first want to decide where you want to open your registry (or registries, if you want options). Here are 17 of the best websites and stores to consider saying "I do" to for your wedding registry, to have and to hold for as long as people are buying you wedding gifts.

Keep Reading... Show less

If you've ever been in the dating game, or currently are, chances are you've had a date gone wrong. These are often times super embarrassing, but they are always funny to look back on.

Keep Reading... Show less

I just recently got engaged and planning a wedding during a pandemic is actually kind of a nightmare.

A lot of venues are taken for 2021 because of corona brides and grooms who have had to reschedule their weddings and the same goes for other vendors and literally everything else.

Keep Reading... Show less

While promoting her most recent movie, "Work It," Sabrina Carpenter has divulged some of her favorite beauty products to interviewers.

Keep Reading... Show less

When I say we can't stop thinking about the relationship advice Miley Cyrus dropped on "Call Her Daddy" today, I mean it literally.

Her truth bombs hit me (and most who listened) like a wrecking ball and coupled with the release of her new song "Midnight Sky," we're going to need some time to process the greatness. In case you haven't listened yet (what are you waiting for?), here are 10 relationship tips Miley shared that we should all live by for the rest of time.

Keep Reading... Show less

Founders Of Color: Rec Room's Dre Taylor On What Blackness Can Look Like And Not Working For Free

"It mattered to me that when we were depicting racial diversity for Rec Room, we showed the broad spectrum of what Blackness can look like."

Rec Room

The world of sustainable fashion is inundated with marketing gimmicks, false advertising, and large corporations cutting corners — Rec Room is the pure antithesis of that.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 At-Home Therapy Tips You Need, No Matter What Your Therapy Routine Is

Whether you're in a Zoom session or live-chatting, make sure your home therapy space is good to go.

No matter what stigmas you held about therapy before this year, I'm sure 2020 has affirmed that we could ALL use a nice long therapy session. Between wildfires that took over an entire continent, a global health crisis, and what's sure to be one giant circus of an election in the United States, we need help and we need it now.

The fact of the matter is, therapy has been a helpful, valid resource long before the world decided to become one giant dumpster fire. Having a safe space to discuss what's going on in your life, worries you have, and struggles you're facing has become a very normal thing for individuals' mental health.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dunkin' just announced that they'll be releasing their fall menu earlier than ever — set to debut on August 19 — and that it'll include new menu options this season, including a new signature pumpkin spice latte. Let me just say, Starbucks has some fall-menu competition now.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments