Tips For Successfully Dating In Your 20s

Tips For Successfully Dating In Your 20s

Yes, it's possible.
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Dating in today’s world is nothing like it used to be. We show our interest by liking each other’s Instagram pictures, all our deep conversations happen over text, and no one goes to dinner anymore. We “Facebook stalk” to get to know people and “Netflix and chilling” is how we spend time together.

I, just like many others, am completely guilty of all of this. In high school, it even made sense to interact like this. How else would we have gotten through the awkwardness of first relationships?! While there isn’t really anything majorly wrong with this when you’re young, there comes a time (somewhere in your 20s) where this just doesn’t cut it anymore. Most begin to look for something more genuine and serious and want to get to know someone on a more mature level. But how are you supposed to change a whole societal norm? I’ve found that the only way to do so is to keep in mind a list of guidelines. Use these tips to direct your actions and decisions and to foster mature, meaningful relationships in today’s society.

Be confident, even if you have to fake it.

Not only is confidence attractive, but faking it can help to calm your nerves until you’re actually confident for real. First (and second and third) dates are always a little nerve wracking. Wear something you feel good in or listen to your favorite song on repeat. Act like you’ve done this a million times.

Have a good idea of what you want in another person.

But don’t let that list be definitive. The biggest mistake people make is making a list of traits they want in another person, and writing off everyone that doesn’t exactly fit. It’s good to know what you’re looking for in someone, but you’ll miss out on too many amazing people and potential partners if you can’t compromise a bit.

And an even better idea of what you don’t want.

This, however, should be definitive. Use your past experiences as ways to discover exactly what you don’t want in another person. You know better than anyone what didn’t work for you. This shouldn’t be something you often compromise on.

Learn how to hold a conversation.

Somehow, in today's world, digital conversation has taken the place of face-to-face conversation, and with it, our social skills. Focus on talking to someone without the use of technology. Ask questions; get to know someone without social media. Talk about yourself too, but show interest in the other person as well. You'll be amazed at what you can learn about someone (and yourself!) by having an actual conversation.

Approach each situation with an open mind.

Taking chances is what being young is all about. Remember that not everyone is going to hurt you like somebody else did before. In a situation where you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain, why not be open to new experiences?! Some will work out and some won’t, but you’ll be glad you gave things a shot in the long run.

Remember that everyone has a past, including you.

Don’t bring your past into the present, and don’t completely write somebody off because of his or hers. Everybody has made (or dated) his or her fair share of mistakes. You wouldn’t want to be entirely judged off of a few past experiences, and neither would anyone else. Try keeping this in mind.

Don’t waste time -- yours or theirs!

If you’re not feeling something (or someone), be straight up about it. Don’t try to force chemistry that so obviously isn’t there. You’ll only waste your time and their time, which isn’t fair to either of you.

Be tolerant of others.

Everyone has their little quirks and habits that make them a little bit different. When things are new between you and another person, it is easy to overanalyze these things and make up excuses as to why it’ll never work between you two. If all goes as planned, you’ll fall in love with their weird laugh or the way they eat Ramen with a fork. Don’t write people off so quickly.

Do not allow yourself to be disrespected.

With this being said, there are certain behaviors you should never tolerate. Lying, cheating, and any type of abuse are certainly not quirks you can learn to love. Never ever allow someone else to disrespect your mind or body. Thankfully, spotting these things early on in a relationship makes it easier to walk away from. Demand respect from others and give it in return. The quality of your relationships will be dramatically different.

Be yourself.

And be honest. Showing someone your true self right off the bat may be scary at first, but it’s better in the long run. You’ll give someone a sense of who you truly are right away, and you wont waste your time pretending to be something you’re not only to have to prove who you really are later on. It will help you be more comfortable around the other person almost immediately because you wont have to remember to act a certain way or try to keep up some charade. Relax and be yourself, it’s more than good enough.

Never settle.

Your relationship should never be mediocre. Don’t be with someone because you’re lonely. Don’t put up with disrespect because you think you’ll never find someone else. Remember how young you are in the grand scheme of things. Never settle for less than you deserve.

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A Letter To My Go-To Aunt

Happiness is having the best aunt in the world.
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I know I don't say it enough, so let me start off by saying thank you.

You'll never understand how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. You'll also never understand how special you are to me and how much I love you.

I can't thank you enough for countless days and nights at your house venting, and never being too busy when I need you. Thank you for the shopping days and always helping me find the best deals on the cutest clothes. For all the appointments I didn't want to go to by myself. Thank you for making two prom days and a graduation party days I could never forget. Thank you for being overprotective when it comes to the men in my life.

Most importantly, thank you for being my support system throughout the numerous highs and lows my life has brought me. Thank you for being honest even when it isn't what I want to hear. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground and keeping me sane when I feel like freaking out. Thank you for always supporting whatever dream I choose to chase that day. Thank you for being a second mom. Thank you for bringing me into your family and treating me like one of your own, for making me feel special because you do not have an obligation to spend time with me.

You've been my hero and role model from the time you came into my life. You don't know how to say no when family comes to you for help. You're understanding, kind, fun, full of life and you have the biggest heart. However, you're honest and strong and sometimes a little intimidating. No matter what will always have a special place in my heart.

There is no possible way to ever thank you for every thing you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Thank you for being you.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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7 Things To Remember When You're Sad About Being Single

I don't need a significant other, I have my significant self.

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Let's stop the stigma around being single. Those who aren't in a relationship are not "weak," "missing out," "lonely," etc. We're doing just fine on our own, honey. There may be many plus sides of being in a relationship such as having a cuddle buddy, someone who, without a doubt, will always buy you food, or sharing your love for in each other in endless, cute ways. Buuuuttt... let's not forget these reasons why being single can be so amazing!

1. You save money 

Less shopping for you on Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. SAVE THAT MONEY, HONEY!

2. You can flirt with whoever you want...

...for the most part, at least. Definitely not if they already have a significant other. But now, you don't have to feel guilty for having googly eyes for someone else!

3. You can completely unplug whenever 

You don't have to worry about constantly keeping tabs on someone. No more answering to someone's every call. You can go completely tech-free whenever!

4. You have more time...

...to find yourself, love yourself, and put yourself first. Also, just more time to watch Netflix and hang with family and friends.

5. You are saying goodbye to heartbreak 

No one can breakup with you if you're single, #facts.

6. Everything you do is for yourself 

Decision making can be hard as it is, so making decisions that benefit you AND another person can be draining. Now, you don't have to worry about making someone else happy.

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