10 Tips For Dating In College

10 Tips For Dating In College

A little more complicated than dating in high school.
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Welcome to college, where everything you once knew about dating is backwards. Hookups tend to happen before the feels come out, sleepovers are not out of the ordinary and dates include doing laundry together. But with that being said, here are some fundamental tips to keep a healthy relationship during your time in college.

1. Manage your time

Time management is one the hardest skills to master in college, but it basically sums up your four years here. You’re scheduled down to the minute, from classes to going out with your friends. Spending time with your boyfriend is perfectly acceptable, but don’t forget to make room for your friends in your schedule.

2. If this relationship is taking away from your happiness, don’t waste your time

One of the large aspects of a relationship is making the other person feel loved. Constant fighting over little things can lead to belittling the relationship and really hurt the other person. You’re only in college for such a short period of time, so why waste it on a guy who can’t provide you with that affection?

3. Don’t do long distance unless you are set on marrying them

College is all about trial and error, but being in a long-distance relationship limits the waters that you can test out. You don’t want time to fly by and realize they weren't the one and you never had the chance to meet anyone else. With that being said, having someone somewhere else doesn’t mean you have to isolate yourself from going out. If you are 100 percent sure they are the one for you, then keep it going!

4. Find yourself first

I can’t stress this enough!! How can you expect to find happiness in your relationship if you don’t even know how to find happiness on your own? When I say find yourself, I don’t mean have every little detail figured out. My god, we’re only 20! Just come to better understand yourself and how you operate.

5. Giving each other space is OK

Privacy on campus is almost as rare as seeing an engineer during the day. Everyone needs their own “me” time, and you have to respect that. Try not to take it personal.

6. You're balling on a budget

Clearly, extravagant dates are out of the picture at this time in our lives. Personally, I believe that guys shouldn’t have to pay for everything, but if he insists, be grateful. If that boy offers to buy you Zips, keep him around!

7. Compromise

You can’t always have your way. Learning to keep your mind open to their ideas and suggestions will not only expose you two to new experiences together, but you’ll also discover what does and doesn’t work in your relationship.

8. Collide your two worlds

Become friends with theirs, and hopefully they do the same for you. Trust them, and don’t be scared to try new foods or TV shows. You’ll learn more about the person they are today by understanding their past.

9. Keep an open mind

Remember if you’re ever frustrated or upset, try and see it from their point of view. There is always something going on that we don’t fully know about, so don’t be too quick to judge.

10. There is nothing wrong with being single

Single is a lot of fun because you’re only in charge of yourself. Just because you haven’t found the right person yet doesn’t mean you need to settle for someone now. They’ll come along. Who knows, they might be out there now but you just haven’t crossed paths on campus yet!

Cover Image Credit: Kelsie McKenna

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Open Letter to My First Love

So while our time together was short, it was trying, it was beautiful and it was meaningful.
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Dear First Love,

You know, you taught me a lot by being a first of mine. You taught me about life, and real love, and relationships. You were the first guy to see my hair in the morning. The first person to say they loved me romantically. The first boy to give me a bouquet of flowers. The first date I’d had to prom. The first one who offered me a second family through his own. The first person besides my parents I’d go to with anything and everything. My first facebook official relationship. My first boyfriend. You were my heart, and you had it from the beginning.

You were the first guy to make me feel like shit about myself. You were the first person to say “I love you” romantically and not actually mean it. You were the first person to relate effort to fixing a car. The first one to discredit our relationship with the running of a TV show series. You were the one person I wanted to love me like I loved him. That was a first. It was all a big first.

But throughout it all, there is one first that beats them all. My first breakup. My first time standing up for myself. My first real heartbreak but also my first real victory. And while in many ways, you taught me to love and learn and how to give my heart away, you also taught me how to guard my heart enough until I find the right person to give it too. You taught me that it doesn't matter what others think of you, but of what you think of yourself. When I was with you I didn't like who I was becoming and that taught me that a guy should NEVER EVER change my view of myself.

So while our time together was short, it was trying, it was painful, and it was meaningful. I learned to love, how to fight with communication, how to put someone's needs before myself. And I started on a journey to find myself.

But the greatest thing I remember learning from you, the boy who broke my heart, is that ALL firsts, good ones and bad ones, have a lesson to teach. And now that it's just me, myself, and I, it’s time to start generating a new list of firsts. Starting with...

Me.

Sincerely yours,

The new and improved-ish Me

Cover Image Credit: Lily Cramer

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10 Stages Everyone Goes Through When They Have A New Crush

You cannot make real words around someone you think is cute.
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Crushing on someone else is a normal part of life. Sometimes, it turns into something more. Other times, you realize that the person isn't all you thought they were. Crushes can last for days, months, or even years. Regardless of the outcome or duration, your crush is put on a pedestal in your mind for a period of time. Your crush can do no wrong! They are the quintessence of all you have searched for in a soulmate. Got your infatuate in mind? Good, because these are the inevitable stages of crushing hardcore!

1. The introduction

You were just standing there, minding your own business, when Mr./Mrs. Perfect has to come waltzing in on your perfectly drab situation. You couldn't have seen it coming! It was crush at first sight...

2. Stalking harder than the FBI

No agency nor secret organization hath the stealth and efficiency of someone with a crush. Your fingers fly over your keyboard in a desperate search for your crush's social media, armed with only their first name and license plate number.

3. Making social media posts as bait

You heard your crush loves rock climbing so you pull out the Chacos from 7th grade and snap a pic to prove your love and level of granola.

4. Losing your mind when they walk by

STOP. STARING.

5. The first conversation (that mostly consists of unintelligible sounds on your part)

Stutter and stammer all you want to. YOU CANNOT MAKE REAL WORDS AROUND SOMEONE YOU THINK IS CUTE.

6. Your friends totally know something's up

You can try to deny it, but the people closest to you know that you NEVER smile this much.

7. The love songs you used to hate all start to make sense

How could you not have realized that 00s country Taylor Swift was such a lyrical genius?

8. You start planning your future with them

You don't even know their middle name, but you know you want to have babies with them. A boy and a girl, Carter and Isabella, respectively.

9. They become the topic of every conversation

In your head, the things you say about your crush make for a Hollywood-caliber love story! Whether or not your listeners care about their beautiful eyes or luscious hair is irrelevant. You just need someone to listen to you fangirl.

10a. Shoot your shot

You've watched this beautiful creature at a distance for far too long! It's your time to GO IN! You don't know what the outcome will be, but you know getting some feelings off your chest will be worth it in the end.

10b. You realize why they're not the one


At this point in the crush timeline, you've probably discovered a character flaw you couldn't see past your love goggles. Maybe he is known across campus for cheating, or she thrives on attention from others. However you slice it, this person is NOT your other half and you know it!

Having feelings for someone else is a rollercoaster of emotions that you are never prepared for, but in the end, what's meant to happen will happen. Sometimes, things work out perfectly and you end up with someone to do life with. Other times, your dreams are crushed by the harsh reality of imperfect people, and you learn to get over it.

Either way, loving yourself and the things most important to you is VITAL before ever getting involved with someone else. When you learn to cherish your own life, you can begin to invest in someone else's. Wishing you all the crush-tastic experiences in the world!

Cover Image Credit: @whitjeng/Instagram

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