Five Tips For Battling The Lonelies
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Five Tips For Battling The Lonelies

The state of loneliness and coping with it.

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Five Tips For Battling The Lonelies

Do you ever find yourself surrounded by hundreds of people and notice a lingering feeling inside of you that you could not shake? Throughout the day, it sporadically tugged at your mind that you didn't want to be ignored. Then, realization kicks in, and you slowly begin to feel as microscopic as bacteria or maybe even invisible.

There are days that I dreaded getting out of bed, but I always believed it was laziness... at first. I would continue to tell myself to just get up and keep going. I found myself missing friends and family more often, and the fact that all my suit mates had significant others seemed to be magnified in my single-dom. My singleness was being unintentionally mocked. It took some time for me to actually acknowledge that I was lonely, and most of the time I'm guilty of priding myself on being alone and not lonely. I was a wanderer and didn't have to worry about someone else's feelings! No attachments. No nothing. It soon dawned on me that I actually grow attached to people almost immediately. But then, whenever they would mention eventful plans for the weekend, I would unknowingly distance myself.

A few days ago, I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. I was somewhat behind on schoolwork, with a paper due the next day, and time to myself was nonexistent. I tried calling close friends, but no one was answering. I found myself ready to throw in the towel and head to my bed and call it a day. Suddenly, I called up a friend I hadn't spoken to for a while and told her in a jokingly manner that I wasn't feeling too great; slowly hinting to her that I was feeling utterly alone. Fortunately, she knew me well enough to not take my situation so lightly and said the simple words that I never expected would make me feel sincerely better. All she told me was that I was doing great, and rest assured that was all I really needed to hear.


If you ever find yourself in this situation, here are five tips I kept in mind that helped me change my thinking and overall improve myself.


1. Accept your feelings.

If you continue to beat yourself with inward comments, it may lower your self-esteem. Taking a moment to confirm to yourself that you are feeling lonely is okay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling this way. At first, just accepting yourself is very terrifying because you might assume that there may be something wrong, but once you do embrace the fact that you are feeling this way, you will be overcome with relief. Once this first step is acknowledged, then you can dive further into distinguishing what is specifically causing this loneliness.


2. Reach out to others.


Make a point to spend time with friends or family. If distance is an issue, call someone, preferably a person you haven't spoken to for a while, or maybe even see a counselor. There are words that just need to be said by someone to calm you down. There are also times when the right words might be spoken by the wrong person. Try not to let your assumptions keep you from leaving your room and making a genuine connection.


3. Change your mindset.

Think about how you have been thinking. Do your thoughts tend to contain negative words? For instance, if you are constantly telling yourself "I can't do this or that", then those thoughts will stay with you. When that occurs, those negative feelings manifest. You are in control of yourself even though it might be difficult to believe. When you do catch yourself negatively thinking, alter your sentences. For example, think instead, This will take some time to understand. I will get there eventually. Remember to keep an open mind.


4. Express yourself through creative outlets.

There are millions of activities to express yourself and your feelings. Some may play an instrument(s), paint, build houses, or one could simply solve a jigsaw puzzle. If you are unsure of what you are interested in, take the time to discover what it is that makes you feel better. Get out of your room, get involved, and don't worry about sticking to only one interest. There's a reason why there are many to choose from.


5. Change your routine.

Routines are meant to be changed up every once in a while. Repeating the same tasks every day will get redundant. I recently found myself writing in a coffee shop nearby instead of typing away on my computer, which made a refreshingdifference.If you find yourself not as engaged as you were before with your usual activity, then maybe you need to try something new! It will help you weed through the rubble, and gain new hobbies that you love. You may even meet potential friends on your journey in finding what truly interests you.Be sure to change your schedule and the way you go about your interests often.


Humans are complex individuals, which makes life simultaneously interesting yet difficult. The only way to overcome hard times is to go through them. Without a doubt, it is definitely possible to rise above "the lonelies," but it is just as important to recognize that it exists as well. Remember that feeling lonely is only temporary and that you must work to change if you wish to remove yourself from your solitude.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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