Graduating college is something we all look forward to from day one. Waiting for the day you're out in the world doing what you've always wanted to do. What I wasn't ready for was how much I would come to hate that mental clock ticking down.

I knew from the minute I got out of my long-term depressive stint my senior year of high school that college was where I would thrive. I needed more like-minded people and I needed to learn about the world around me and how to change it. I didn't anticipate all the fun I would have here and I sure as hell didn't anticipate not wanting to leave as much as I do now.

For me, my last semester on campus is actually the semester before I graduate as I have requested to student teach in Houston where I will be spending my final 16 weeks as an undergrad. I have been aware of this since October and have cried about that since October. What has been hitting me most this week is my "last time" moments.

It's something that comes with every long term, almost routine experience, but my college ones have hit me the hardest, I think. The thing about college "last time" moments is that they are always drastically different from the first and you also get first times in between. This weekend alone, I went through my last spring formal and my last spring sorority alumnae ceremony where I sit in the audience, but also experienced my first dance with my little and my first cabaret performance (which was also my first vocal performance in three years).

It's hard for me to think that I won't get to experience some of these things again as they happened so late for me and I will most likely be in Texas or have just gotten back from Texas a year from now. It's also hard knowing that some of the people who have meant the most to me in the last three years won't be there to hold my hand through those times, for whatever reason.

But it is so amazing knowing that after three years of hard work, I get to spend one more kickass semester on campus and one being an awesome student teacher, before I am handed that piece of paper I've given so much for.

So, I give an early thank you to Ball State for ripping me to shreds so that I could find amazing people, experience amazing things, and become an amazing woman.

See you next semester when I write a tear-jerking college reflection.