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Stop Using Days, Months, And Years To Judge How Serious My Relationship Is

The most annoying line I've ever heard: "We'll see. Give it a few months."

boyfriend and girlfriend on romantic beach date
Nick Preite

There are couples that wait several years before getting married. There are also couples that get engaged in a month. Which one sounds like a more realistic relationship? Well, I'd love to argue that neither situation is better than the other.

My relationship with my boyfriend, Nick, as I've said many times before, is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It's been intense (of course, in a good way). I'm so close to him and attached to him. We have so much love for each other. I can't imagine my life without him. But a common theme in our relationship, much to our dismay, has been opposition. That probably sounds vague, so let me give you an example.

One specific friend told me that he wouldn't meet my boyfriend for a while, until we had been dating longer. This really confused me. If my boyfriend is important to me, and you're important to me, then why does it matter when you meet him? He proceeded to tell me that there was no point in meeting someone that I wasn't serious about. But I was. I am. Nick is quite literally my future.

But then came the most annoying line I've ever heard: "We'll see. Give it a few months."

Hmmm? What? What will we be seeing? Like several more months would somehow magically validate my statements.

Very early into my relationship Nick, I knew that I wanted to be with him forever. I wanted to live with him, marry him, have kids with him. I thought that when I told people about that, they would be happy for me. But instead, a lot of them were skeptical. They acted like I was being naive, and that I wasn't thinking rationally.

They didn't believe that I could be so sure so soon.

And don't even get me STARTED on the infamous "honeymoon phase" comments.

"After a while, it'll wear off. You won't feel the same way anymore."

That's interesting. That's really, really interesting. I happen to disagree! Every day that I spend with my boyfriend, I just fall more and more in love with him. He continues to amaze me with his maturity, kindness, and sincerity. I know that those feelings will never wear off because he has the best personality. He's an amazing person and he inspires me so much. He never stresses me out. He lifts me up. And I know that if we ever have a problem in the future, we'll be able to work through it because we care so much about each other.

I think I've become closer to my boyfriend in the 6 months of us dating than people become in 1-2 year relationships.

Sure, spending time with a significant other is important. But it doesn't define a relationship. It shouldn't show you how into a relationship I am. My words and actions might give you some idea about what I'm feeling, but at the end of the day, the only people who know what a relationship is like are the two people in it.

So anyone can doubt us, laugh at us for not thinking "rationally," and be difficult about forming friendships, but it doesn't matter to me. The only thing that matters to me is making my dreams and goals with Nick a reality.

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