There’s a magical thing that happens to almost every girl the very moment they walk into the unknown of Tigerland – they become hopeless romantics.    

Now although I’m not a consistent proponent of “love,” I must admit that I have fallen to the whims of the idea that some boy will see me across the dance floor, maybe noting how pretty he finds me to his fraternity brother, and then after a couple of shots to muster the courage, he’d sweep me off my feet and I would never have to go through the stress-inducing trouble of finding a GRUB/Semi/Formal date ever again. 

We all do it. We spend hours upon hours getting ready to go into a dark, airless and jam-packed room for the better part of four hours. Only to leave such classy establishments like Reginald’s Upscale Bar and Lounge or Michael’s Night Club empty handed or worse with a guy who’s only going to hump and dump us.

In the moment, you’re excited. The thought is beating in your head that “Tonight might be my night.” Then you meet someone, he seems nice – probably caught your heart by throwing out some horribly cheesy line, or even better, just coming up from behind you and start dancing with you. You brush off the fact that he hasn’t even asked for your name, but convince yourself, “Why do we need names when we’re too busy swimming in each other’s eyes?”


Not to forget to mention that inevitable twist of fate when you end up hooking up with someone in the middle of the bar. In your heart, you would describe the moment to be as if, “we were the only ones there.”

Ooookay.

Just because you kissed a toad doesn’t make him much of a prince in the end. He’s still a toad. Remember, before you’re ready to kiss a guy who deems himself to be worth your time. And if he’s sweating profusely, I think it’s a safe sign for you to just back away.

As always, there are always exceptions to the rule – that in some freakish way we actually get exactly what we want. For instance, my big met her boyfriend at Mike’s where he kept on buying her drinks all night until she picked up the hint. They’ve been dating for almost ten months now.

But we all have to learn the harsh realities of such Rom Coms like He’s Just Not that Into You. We have to stop thinking we’re going to find the guy of our dreams out on Thirsty Thursday. The actual average guy who goes out has probably got only one goal in mind – to catch some booty like a hungry predator. Don’t let your parents ever meet this dude.

Not saying that you shouldn’t go out now that I’ve successfully shot down your romantic ventures at JL’s. I’m a huge fan of Tigerland when I have the time and energy for it. That goes without saying I’m equally as big of fan of getting ready to go out. When and where else am I going to wear that all too overpriced yet all too cute pair of Aztec printed shorts?

Go out with a group of your friends and have the time of your life. If you end up meeting a friendly guy who wants to buy you a drink, there’s no harm in that. If you even get his number, even better. Just be sure to leave your dreams of fairy tale endings at the door with the bouncers and that $5 you paid for cover.