Why? Why are you like this? I never thought in a million years I would be sitting here writing an article about things to do other than eating laundry detergent. How did eating tide pods even become a trend? Who even came up with this trend, and is this person okay?
So many questions America.
As a firm believer in eating non-toxic things, here is a list of things you can do instead of eating tides pods.
1. Eat something that won't poison you
Always a good idea to stick with this method when figuring out what you want to eat.
2. Use the detergent to do laundry
Wow, what a crazy concept: using laundry detergent to wash your laundry.
3. Read a book
Put down the pods, and open a good book.
My personal favs: Bossypants by Tina Fey and Yes Please by Amy Poehler (If you like them these are perfect for you!)
4. Watch Netflix
Personal favs: The Office, Stranger Things, Parks and Recreation, Orange Is The New Black, and the list could go on.
5. Go on a run
6. Look at pictures of cute animals
7. Get an oil change
Not the most exciting thing but it's better than eating toxic chemicals.
8. Call your grandparents
If you don't know about the show "The Nanny," you are missing out.
9. Begin a lawn gnome collection
I mean, if it prevents you from joining in on the nonsense that is "The Tide Pod Challenge," then I'm all for it.
10. Adopt a dog
Adopt don't shop, people!!!
11. Donate blood
Just make sure you eat a good meal before, or you'll end up like this ^
12. Go get some coffee with a friend
Caffeine > Detergent
13. Stalk your favorite Kardashian on social media
This could easily go on for a few hours because of the abundance of Insta posts.
14. Hate yourself for stalking your favorite Kardashian on social media
15. Organize your closet
^Literally my closet right now
16. Work on your Jerry Seinfeld impression
"What's the deal with airline food?!"
17. Go to Target
ALWAYS a good idea.
18. Learn a new language
19. Go on a road trip
20. Create some art
21. Check your horoscope
Basic girl: "WOW Tiffany you are such a Scorpio."
22. Do some bird watching
We all have our own idea of fun, right?
23. Learn about the War of 1812
Tap into that ~historical~ side, if that's what it takes to stay away from the detergent.
24. Read some conspiracy theories
I just read one about Avril Lavigne, not actually being Avril Lavigne. It was insane.
25. Clean your air filters
Eh. At least it's something productive.
26. Do some journaling
27. Drink some apple cider vinegar
It will give that same burning sensation that drinking toxic chemicals does.
28. Sign up for online dating
We could all do this some more.
30. Take a nap
One of my favorite options.
31. Obsess over Zach Braff
Where all my Scrub fans at?!?!
32. Watch some vines
Cannot stress how good of an idea this is.
33. Make Vine references to your friends
If you don't get Vine references we can't be friends.
34. Drink some water
2018 is the year of hydration!!
35. Watch all of the Shrek movies
36. Reminisce on your awkward middle school days
So. Many. Silly. Bands.
37. Face your fears
Unless your fear is eating Tide Pods...
38. Pull some weeds
My most hated chore as a child.
39. Do some online shopping
I always put everything I want in my shopping cart and then when I see how insane the total is, I just exit out :')
40. Listen to Justin Bieber's Christmas album
Little Drummer Boy goes HARD on this album.
41. Listen to Gregorian chant
If you're into that.
42. Build a fort
I don't care how old you are, making a fort is fun for all ages.
43. Learn how to play the piano
It's never too late.
44. Knit a sweater for your cat
45. Get a library card
I actually just got one yesterday, and it was riveting.
46. Break into song in public places
High School Musical that sh*t.
Sass level: Zac Efron singing "Bet On It."
47. Reminisce on Miley Cyrus' comeback
Gives me hope that I will eventually turn my life around and stop being a mediocre person.
48. Look at videos of sloths
I am a sloth.
49. Make a garden
Why eat detergent when you can grow some corn???
50. Eat breakfast for dinner
Always a treat.