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Threatening to Leave if Someone doesn't get Help is not what a support system does

Help only helps if the help is asked for.

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Demi Lovato
Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato has reportedly agreed to go back to rehab upon leaving the hospital after her recent overdose. This is wonderful news to her many fans, as well as family and friends who care for her well being.

She has been to rehab before and other supportive housing facilities in the past which have helped her reach her six years of sobriety. All of this is good news, and I have high hopes that Demi can once again find herself and find happiness again.

Now, let's get to the real story. Members of Demi's team have reportedly threatened to leave her unless she had agreed to return to rehab to get help. While they may believe that they are doing what is "best" for her, they are being the exact opposite of a support system.

When someone is an addict, they need stability from their support system. To be said system, one must be a constant presence in the life of the addict and encourage help without forcing it. Causing additional stress to an addict as a means of support is only supporting, even pushing the addict back to their addiction.

If you've never dealt with addiction, you just can't understand. You simply cannot accurately formulate an opinion about addiction if you have never been around an addict, or been one yourself. Especially if that addict is someone you love.

It is easy to get caught up in thinking that the addict doesn't love the people around them and that all they care about is drugs or booze or whatever their vice may be. It is easy to give up on someone when times get rough. I, myself for years believed that addicts chose to give in, and were heartless selfish beings who didn't deserve my support. Even with my own brother, I practically disowned him when he lost his way. We haven't even talked in years because of it. It's time to stop being selfish and realize that we need to be there when our friends and family need help.

It is the act of true love and kindness to stay by the side of someone who has lost their way and given in to the demands of their addiction. You don't have to force one way of recovery in order to be supportive. Be there for your people, and learn what their needs are.

I am appalled at the threats from Demi's team. As someone who has lost a parent to addiction, I honestly cannot believe the disgusting actions of these so-called friends to Demi.

One team member has even said, "She could die if she doesn't, and that's not going to be on my watch that we did nothing."

What kind of literal bullshit is that? That is basically saying, "I'm too selfish to deal with loss, so unless she does what I want her to do right now, regardless of her wishes, I'm out." Demi, along with every addict, alcoholic, cancer patient, and anyone else with a disease deserves better than that.

I was 5-years-old when I lost my father to his addiction, on Thanksgiving nonetheless, and over the fifteen years since I have had many feelings about the situation, but I still think if given the chance I would have been there for my father. No one gave him the chance to have a good support system.

My brother and I were kids, living with our mother 4 hours away, across state lines, and his soon-to-be bride was by his side doing the drugs with him. My paternal family acted as if nothing was happening. The issue was never addressed. If he had been given a support system who addressed his addiction while remaining supportive and encouraging towards him getting sober, he might still be with us.

Sober or not, addicts are addicts; and you are either there for them or not. There is no cherry-picking in being a support system, and that's exactly what Demi's people are trying to do. Let this be a lesson for anyone, don't become part of a known addicts life unless you are prepared to support them through it all.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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