Its the middle of the summer, and you have nowhere to be. You find yourself blasting the air conditioning burying yourself in combinations of blankets and pillows. Your outfit of the day consists of an over-sized t-shirt with too many holes to count, optional pants, and a bun on the top of your head. Flipping through the channels among so many options, you stop on the LMN channel.
Suddenly hours have gone by, you have no idea what time or day it is. Next thing you know you have completely enveloped yourself in a kidnapping story that has you on the edge of your seat.
This is one of of many feelings that come from watching those beloved lifetime movies. Strange thoughts definitely occur when one engages themselves in these films that contain messed up yet predictable stories and cheesy acting. Once you take a step back and analyze these thoughts, you will understand how incredibly crazy and ridiculous they are.
Here are just five out of many ridiculous examples of thoughts that have crossed my mind from personal experience while watching the LMN channel.
1. "There is probably a serial killer in my bathroom."
This happens to everyone, right? Once you have watched enough of these bad boys on the lifetime movie network, it will have you thinking that a killer is right around the corner. Suddenly you will find yours elf cautiously watching your step at every turn and checking behind doors for absolutely no reason with a shoe in hand as a weapon. But hey, you never know right? Every little thing will have you freaked out after watching these movies.
2. "Aw...I hope he/she doesn't get caught."
Since when are we able to sympathize with criminals? Lifetime movie network has a way of going deeply into the background of certain killers and criminals. For example, you find out that the killer had a background of an abusive and drug addicted mother and is going after women who have resemblance to her just to take out his anger. Now this might be an extreme scenario, however, once you connect on a personal level with the killer, you will find yourself being a criminal cheerleader.
3. "Just one more movie...then I'll be done."
That's what they all say. The great and worst thing about the Lifetime Movie Network Channel is that it is a constant marathon. All day everyday. Basically there is no escape. So when you sit down to just watch one movie, it turns into five, and then all of the sudden your day is completely gone. And unless you are really brave, you will make sure no one finds out how you spent your day because this is just embarrassing.
4. "If I was this criminal, I would have done ____________ differently."
Once you've watched enough of these, you suddenly are an expert. That's just how it works. You are now able to shout helpful suggestions at the television in order to ensure the criminal's success. Because once again, we are on the criminal's side sometimes, right? Congratulations, you are a real creature to be feared!
5. "I knew that was going to happen."
You are a total psychic! Because the commercials give away absolutely no clues that will help you solve the murder mystery right? Solving such an obvious mystery always leads to a sense of pride unlike anything you will ever experience in your life. Solving a Lifetime Movie Mystery makes you a real sleuth!
So if any of these absurd and unrealistic thoughts have ever crossed your mind, fear not. You are totally not alone. People who watch lifetime movies are a breed of their own. These thoughts are all a part of the experience. Do not be ashamed. So go ahead and sympathize with that criminal, but look out for the psychopath in your shower!