Oh, hello my name is socially awkward and I'm going to live in your head making every encounter with a human being as uncomfortable as possible. Now let's begin...

"Is that person waving at you?... ye... nope... HA gotcha!"

"This is definitely something a normal person would say. You should say it. Say it now so they will think you're funny."

"That's odd no one is laughing... do something with your hands."

"Oh no... silence..."

"Hmmm let's see, what social events do we have to avoid today?"

"Your phone is ringing!"

"Well looks like you're getting the hang of things so I'll just leave you to it."