Where is my nearest exit?
How can I escape from this hell in the most discrete way?
Where can I hide when the cops show up?
Do you think I could fit in that kitchen cabinet?
Who can I get to go to the bathroom with me?
Friend: You can go on your own! Me: What if I get kidnapped??
Which friend is designated Mom tonight?
Who's making sure I get home alive?
Am I sober enough to pass a drunk test?
Hey! Watch me walk in a straight line!
Was that essay due tonight or tomorrow night?
Shit did I miss the deadline?
Cigarette or a joint?
Do my clothes smell like weed?
What did I just step in?
Beer or pee? We will never know.
Who even likes this music?
Can we get some Adele up in here?
Maybe if I drink more I wont be so anxious.
Hand me the Titos!