Dear Whoever Can Relate,
So you finally meet someone and you think to yourself, "wow, this guy/girl seems really into me." They constantly are texting you, talking to you and wanting to get to know you more. Sitting there, I am thinking to myself, "wow I am actually happy and it makes me feel like I am floating."
Then he asks you to go to dinner and meet his parents because he wants you to be his plus one. Things are going great, and you feel like such a princess because he is going to the next step even if you both are just, "talking exclusively." Dinner goes well and his parents like you, but something in your gut doesn't feel right, so you find yourself with a bottle of wine overthinking life.
Another week goes by and you meet more of his friends and get to see what his friend group is like. They seem pretty nice and a chill group. And he is dragging you into his "hawk's nest" more and more as you get to know him.
Now this guy isn't the typical nice guy, he is more of what I would call a "savage." He doesn't open up and tries to push you away when he feels like you are getting too close to him, but all you want him to do is to be honest with his feelings. Then finally one late night he tells you he likes you and cares ... but does he really?
After that moment, the next morning, you want to make sure that he actually meant what he said because is it really fair to you if he didn't? I think not. He tells you he did, but has to keep his cool around his friends. Why would he want the reputation for being emotional right?
After this moment that you two had, when he told you how he felt he pushes you away, by not giving you any attention. Boys, boys, boys when will you ever learn that this doesn't make us want you more, but rather makes us push you away because why would we chase something that doesn't want us?
Then at the moment that you feel like he may be over you, or may want nothing to do with you, he drags you back in. I am currently at the point where part of me likes you, part of me wants to punch you in the face (but I won't because I am a lady) and part of me wants to just pout. But instead, I am just here feeling emotionless.
So instead of feeling anything, I realize yeah I may deserve better, but I am not going to take control. I am going to be easygoing like I always am, and know that at the end of the day, I am going to be successful and make it so I don't need to rely on other people to make me happy. I make myself happy on my own because I am an independent woman and if someone comes along that can keep up, then it happens.
Here's to letting go.