[CW: discussion of hypochondria, anxiety and deadly illness]

Disclaimer: I am in no way intending to mock victims of Naegleria fowleri. It is a serious, deadly infection which has taken the lives of many people, and the risks of contraction do exist and you should consider if you have been at risk of contracting it.

Hypochondria is rampant in this day and age, and it makes a lot of sense. You have more knowledge, and you have more access to it. If you want to know why your head hurts, you just Google it. Maybe you’ll find out you have three days to live instead of it being a headache, but still, the more you know.

My personal anecdote started because of a conversation between my partner and I, regarding the use of neti pots. You may have seen one being used, like in this GIF below.

That’s what came to mind when he mentioned it, and I laughed because pouring water through your nose via a tiny teapot will be funny always. He told me he wanted to use one but needed distilled water, to which I ignorantly rebutted that he didn’t need special water for that, for that was merely CAPITALISM trying to get more his money.

It turned out I was wrong, despite my excellent hypothesis about our economic and political system. My knowledge had been savagely roasted by a Google search, revealing that, in fact, two deadly cases of brain infection had occurred by using a neti pot with tap water.

I was a damn fool.

Of all cases in the United States of people being infected with Naegleria fowleri, an often fatal brain disease, only one has survived. It isn’t just neti pots that can cause it: 11-year-old Hannah Collins, sadly, passed away as a result of contracting the disease by swimming in the Edisto River in South Carolina, last year.

Swimming is not what causes contraction, for the ameba is a naturally occurring organism in warm bodies of freshwater. It was an extremely unlucky combination of the water entering the “nose with enough force that the ameba reaches the brain”, thus leading to the possibility of infection.

I had not been swimming in any freshwater, nor had I even been swimming. The concern arose because I (and I apologize for bringing this to your attention) had been cleaning my nostrils with hot water as I showered; just letting that stream of soft water purify my nasal passages.

I put two and two together: if I, too, had been allowing South Carolinian warm water to enter my nose, whose water had previously caused a deadly infection before, was I also at risk?

Instead of using Google to check out the safety, source and overall cleanliness of Charleston’s water system , I decided to find out the symptoms instead. This included sleepiness, confusion and loss of balance whichhappened to be symptoms I had been experiencing.

"Here we see the common Hypochondriac in his natural habitat, at a computer searching through WebMD; sweating profusely after learning about an extremely rare disease he is unlikely to have."

So, I no longer spent my showers watering my nostrils. Nay, I spent them questioning the potentiality of my demise; that I may die in literally the worst way possible by shooting water into my nose holes.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t die. As it turned out I merely had a cold, and the symptoms were heightened by the anxiety I experienced after the surprising information about the neti pots. This worrying led to often thinking about it, which in turn led to more anxiety which included symptoms like sleepiness and confusion.

Instead of simply finding out whether the water that ran through our school’s accommodation was safe, I jumped to the conclusion that my personal ‘nasal cleaning technique’ had deadly consequences. I learned a very specific moral from this: if you think you’ve been infected by a deadly organism, consider if you have done something that increases the risk, or that you have put yourself at risk of infection. Also, don’t just become a shower-existentialist: if you’re genuinely worried, speak to a medical practitioner.

Hypochondria is hard to resist, and I am most certainly downplaying its persistence and effect when I speak about it here in a comedic light. As I’ve discussed before, anxiety makes you fear that which seems irrational to others even though you too know how irrational you’re being. But in that moment, I was genuinely worried I was at risk, and the internet no doubt makes it a lot easier to let that anxiety manifest.

Does cleaning your nose out via a shower stream increase your chance of getting Naegleria fowleri? I have no idea, but I sure as hell don't want to risk it. Again, contraction is rare, but not impossible. Use a neti pot safely, and ensure water doesn't enter your nose in freshwater. Maybe this advice isn't applicable to you, but it could save someone's life.

Also, please don't judge me for my nasal cleaning technique.