This Is How We Live: Sexual Assault on College Campuses

This Is How We Live: Sexual Assault on College Campuses

No choice we make ever "asks for it."

I'm 20 years old, living independently for the first time, and of course, I want to go out and experience the world on my own terms. Every student -- every person -- deserves to be able to experience the world safely.

But we can't.

As we're ordering takeout and getting dressed for a night out, the length of our skirts is up for debate. If it's too short, we'll be portrayed as a slut. If it's too long, we're a prude. Either way, we're at risk. If we wear jeans and a t-shirt, we aren't trying hard enough. If we wear a short, slinky dress, we're trying too hard. Either way, we're at risk.

Once we finally make it out the door, there's the debate of how to get there. If we walk to the bar, we have to navigate dark sidewalks. If we uber, we have to wonder about the driver. When we arrive, we all know the rules.

1. Don't drink too much.
2. But drink enough to be "fun."
3. Don't dance too close.
4. But dance close enough to be "fun."
5. And of course, don't leave your drink unattended.

This is the life that students -- specifically women -- lead. Every evening out, and even many evenings in are a constant series of decisions, worries, and choices. If we ever let our guard down, we risk our own safety. Although it's not our fault, when something goes wrong we know that we will be analyzed and questioned and blamed.

Now let me tell you what our lives would be like if these fears weren't necessary.

We would order pizza as we got dressed, and not worry whether or not we'd fit into that tiny dress that always turns heads. Some of us would zip ourselves into short dresses and skirts, but without fear of coming off as a slut, or "trying too hard." And some of us would relax in our jeans and shirts, with no worries of being told we're lazy or not trying hard enough.

We would walk to the bar to save money so that we could spend it on nachos later, with no worries of what lurks in the corners. There would be no need for safety apps, those apps that automatically call your roommate if you don't check in every 30 minutes.

Once we're there, we could drink without being scared. We could leave our drink on the counter and go dance, then come back and it would be exactly as we left it. We could dance however we wanted, and not worry about the ways that someone might read into our hips, our smiles, our legs.

None of these choices are "asking for it". It doesn't matter if we wear a short skirt or baggy pants, if we drink or stay sober, if we go home early or stay out late. No one asks to be assaulted. College women spend our lives making hundreds of seemingly small choices, always knowing that if something were to go wrong, our choices would be analyzed and we would be blamed.

Here is who to blame: the assaulter. The man who we will be told "just misread the signs," or "thought you wanted it." Most of all, blame the world that tells us that it's the victim's fault. That says we "sent the wrong message." We didn't.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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6 Signs You're Experiencing The Infamous Sophomore Slump

Stress goes up, excitement goes down.

As the end of my sophomore year in college is now in sight, I've begun to take a look back on this year and how utterly strange it has been. I've recently found a term that perfectly describes everything I've felt from this year in just two words: Sophomore Slump. This term has been coined to describe a,

"Period of developmental confusion where students may face difficulties in academic, social, and personal development. In addition, after the novelties of college social life have worn off, nothing seems quite as special."

I've definitely experienced this feeling this year, and although I find myself still enjoying college, the stresses have seemed to increase while the excitement has simultaneously worn off. If you're suffering through the Sophomore Slump as well, you might be able to relate to these tell-tale signs.

1. You went from going out every weekend to adopting a sleep schedule similar to your grandparents.

Freshman year, every weekend was full of constant opportunities for parties. You waited your whole life for the true college experience, and last year you went a little too hard. Now, you're making up for it by spending your weekends reading, sleeping and most importantly, binging the latest Netflix original special.

2. Frat parties are yesterday’s news.

I still remember the excitement leading up to frat parties during my freshman year, especially for tailgates. Now, if I ever even do go out, I prefer a house party with people I actually enjoy being around.

3. You begin questioning whether your major is right for you…and is it too late now?

Is my major the right one for me? I'm already too far in! I can't back out now! Sophomore year is basically a giant ball of stress and quarter-life crises.

4. You enjoy feeling more like an adult, but you miss the innocence of being a freshman.

As a freshman, you were still naive to adult life, and while that had its own problems, sometimes you miss being the new kid on campus with a whole world of opportunities ahead of you.

5. Somehow, if it’s even possible, your procrastination has gotten even worse.

If you thought last year was bad...

6. And you still find yourself in a constant state of denial.

It's fine, I'm fine, everything's fine.

Cover Image Credit: Every Pixel

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First Week At Work: Tips And Tricks As Told By Timothee Chalamet

Because everyone could use some advice in this department, and have some eye candy to look at too.

After months of looking and sending in applications, I recently started my first job at the late age of nineteen as a waitress and counter person at a local Italian restaurant. I have worked there for two weeks, but have only just begun taking home my tips. Over the past week, I have also been struggling to find time to write articles, and so for this one I am going to be telling all the kids about the first week of a new job through Timothee Chalamet gifs, with little tips and tricks here and there.

The training period.

Training sucks, and yet is simultaneously probably the most boring time I have ever had in my life. Still, you make mistakes, but if you’re lucky you’ll have a good group of people behind you. I met with a good number of my coworkers on the first day, and all of them were absolute sweethearts. I couldn’t have asked for a better bunch to work with. But the training! It was absolutely nerve wracking, especially dealing with people who want food as much as you do after four hours. It takes awhile to get use to being on your feet when you have not in… ever, but sometimes the time flies and you barely notice it.

Meeting the coworkers.

I touched on this vaguely above, but there’s more to say. I would highly recommend making friends with the coworkers you have, or at least greeting them with the utmost smile and wave when you first come in and leaving it as an open invitation. As I said before, they are the biggest sweethearts I have come across, and not just because they make me free food. I’m never bored at work, and to be quite frank, I was suppose to go in today and was bummed that I could not- even if I had to do homework. I love their company, and I feel very welcomed there. Not every workplace is like this, but if you give out an open invitation- even if you’re shy, you’ll find someone who makes it worth your while.

Balancing school life and work life.

Okay so this one isn't Timothee but this gift of Michael Stuhlbarg speaking to Timothee spoke to me on a deep level about this. This is proving a struggle on me as of late. Last night I got a zero on an assignment which I worked on for seven hours. How, may you ask? Because I was distracted in conversation and I forgot to download the proper file. I’m sure it’s possible, and I am determined to make it work, but it’s a challenge. Don’t ever underestimate it, because it will quickly whip you into shape. I would highly recommend, if possible, to get ahead on your assignments on your off day. Yes, it is time consuming, but in the end, isn’t it all about getting that money? And, just another bit of advice, if it does become a challenge there is no shame in deciding that it’s not your time to work. I had come to that conclusion awhile back when I first started, and even though my mind has changed, I still hold the same opinion. Those who say “you will always be stressed out in the real world” don’t understand that realistically, in the real world you will not have to do school work and balance a part time job. Am I saying to quit immediately? No, because the work experience is needed, but give it a month minimum before deciding.

Don't sweat your mistakes.

Take every day as a new opportunity. I'll be totally honest and say right now, I cried three nights already because I was so stressed and tired, and embarrassed over my mistakes. Luckily, the support system I have there is amazing, but regardless of how bad or how good your support system is, it's up to you to take everything as a learning opportunity. It's okay. Just breath, everything is going to work out. There is a reason that they have training, and after all, it is your first job. Things are bound to get messed up, it's up to you to learn from it. Eventually, you'll be a pro.

Take advantage of your off days.

This is pretty self explanatory but if I had a nickle for every off day I wasted, I would probably make up the money I made in tips on training and didn't get to keep. Do homework, read your book, study, do something but don't sleep all day, no matter how tempting. Even if you wake up at eleven, it's still better than sleeping past two. Got homework you need to do that could wait? Don't do it when you get off, just wait. Take your breather and sleep.

In the end, the first job will either be fun, or a stepping stone into something bigger. Take advantage of the new skills you acquire, because you won't find them anywhere else than on the floor.

Gif sources in order: pinterest ,,,,,

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