This is a bit Cheesy.

This is a bit Cheesy.

The same old story...
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Time seemed to slow down as the rain pelted my face. My body ached with the agony of a thousand burdens. It would have been easier to die except for the fact that dying takes too much effort. I simply do not have the strength to keel over. The fabric mask was soaked and sticking to my skin. There was a chunk of the tread missing on my right cheek. The fluid flowing down my face may be blood or water, I have not figured it out yet. My damaged body finds the strength to continue and I stumble over the debris of the broken buildings. Pain surges through my frame after I tripped over my own foot to fall down to all fours. My pant leg busted through at my left knee the red elixir of life came from the wound. My hands were cut, beaten and bruised, but the swollen bits broke the gloves at the seams and held me from falling. My clothes are equally ripped and blood-stained. Not all the blood was mine, but how did I get here? I am actually winning the fight. However, the situation has gotten out of hand. The siren sound plays in my ear. As my ears are ringing with no mercy, it makes one wonder how they got here. How did I get here? Well, that’s a good question. It is the same old story really: a normal guy meets a freak accident and now he can turn cheese into hamsters.

Like anyone put into the same situation, I could not hide under a bushel basket. It is not every day that someone is given the power to change the world. With this power, I devoted myself to making the world a safer place. A place that an army of cheese rodents holds guard and watches over us. The ringing stopped as I had enough strength to lean my back on a pole while sitting on the broken ground. The room was letting the rain come in through the hole in the roof the walls were ripped down to the studs. The frame was the only thing left in this broken place. I did not ask for this, this power is more than me. When the world bestows on you a great talent, you serve to better mankind. This city needed a hero and I filled the void. So how did I get here? It all started on bring your toxic waste to work day…

The higher-ups were always trying to boost morale in stupid ways. They had the usual “bring your (fill in the blank) days” you know like “bring your kid to work day.” On the accident happened on bring your toxic waste to work day. You would not believe the amount of toxic waste people have lying around. First off people actually brought toxic waste into work. Second, it wasn’t like the one lone weird guy that had toxic waste. But like functional people not only owned toxic waste but brought it into work. Thirdly I would like to point out the absurdity of higher management to think of this idea. Hmm… how do we engage the working man? I know, let’s let them bring in their toxic waste! They are just dying to bring their barrels of radioactive fluid to show off to their co-workers. Then someone at that board meeting went, hell yeah! This could not possibly go wrong! Lastly, there were people that were talking in the break room like, “Yeah I’ve got some toxic waste at home but I did not want to be the only one, you know.” Like that’s a normal thing to say. But on this day some of the toxic waste spilled.

In my past life, I worked at a cheese factory. They made all sorts of cheese on the assembly line floor. I had the privilege of being one of the managers of the factory to make sure the cheese was being made properly. The vats of cheese were all different sizes depending on the kind of cheese that was being made inside of them. I always stood of the high rises above the cheese vats. The toxic waste was in barrels in the break room. Eventually one of the barrels sprung a leak and the acidic solution ate through the floor and landed in the cheese vats. Then the accident happened; if one had to pick the absolute worst day to fall into the cheese vats. Toxic waste day was the worst day. The mutation was complete.

The shining green liquid mixed into the cheese. The gooey solution of cheesy and radioactive glow stuff. Shining like a ghost pirate ship, the vat of cheese was waiting for a victim. I was the unfortunate sap that was standing above the vat of tainted cheese. An unsuspecting factory worker fell off the edge of the railing into the cheese vat, Francine. She was a manager of cheeses like myself. The bad batch of cheddar started breaking the machine. Francine went over the vat on the high-rise to make sure everything was fine when the machine shook the ground and Francine went over the edge.

The cheese changed Francine. Once they fished her out of the vat of green cheddar, for the most part, she was the same. Whenever Francine smelled toast she was convinced that she was Richard Nixon. And every time she heard elevator music she barked like a dog. Then whenever she sneezed string cheese came out. But for the most part same old Francine. Then after that debacle, the higher management decided on a more muted “bring your pet to work day.” The usual dogs and cats were present but there was a fair amount of ferrets and weasels etc. etc. The rodent population was astounding. They had to keep all the animals in the break room. The rodents kept trying to eat each other. Dave’s wildebeest escaped his reins and started bucking around and sending people flying into the vats of cheese.

The walkway of the high-rise was only meant to hold one person and then a wild and crazy animal came running at towards me. The hind legs of the beast kicked me down into a vat of something as all the hamsters of the day came running with a fury down the railing and they all plunged into the vat I was in. The stupid little fur balls were running all over the liquid cheese. Their little paws clawed all over my arms. In the vat of liquid, the cheese was filling my lungs and the mechanical arm was pushing me around. The vat was working to suffocate me as the factory workers ran frankly above to figure out how to turn the mechanical arm off. I was Francine’s replacement and was the only person that knew how to turn it off. What happened next changed my life forever. Somebody accidentally dropped a toaster into the vat of cheese. The toaster was still plugged in and once it landed into the equipment it sent a shock throughout the cheese vat. The arm was stopped after we blew a fuse and I was changed. Once they fished me out of the cheese I had this power surge through my veins. They hosed me off and sent me home to rest up. On the way home I stopped in a cheese stop and while I was there I had a sudden urge to sneeze. But when I did all the cheese in the shop turned into hamsters. Then over the weeks and months of having this power I realized how I could control it and use it to help people. This was my great talent, turning cheese into hamesters. I now had a super power!


To Be Continued...

Cover Image Credit: Cheesemaking Blog

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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Must-See Movies For Your Summer

Check out these movies in theaters soon!

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I can't wait till these movies come out. Going to the movies during summer is a great escape from the heat, giving you a few hours in the air conditioning while enjoying a big tub of popcorn.

Here are a few movies to check out this summer when you want to cool down for a little while:

1. "The Lion King"

2. "Aladdin"

3. "The Hustle"

4. "Men in Black: International"

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