I'm Done Hurting Over A Boy Who Cheated On Me
Start writing a post
Relationships

I'm Done Hurting Over A Boy Who Cheated On Me

I'm going to make this breakup my b*tch. For me.

266
I'm Done Hurting Over A Boy Who Cheated On Me
Unsplash

I have spent the last six months crying over a breakup.

I broke up with the guy. He cheated on me, so I had to. The choice I made, though, did not take away the hurt. I have cried over that boy nearly every day since I lost him. I cried because I knew God spoke to me about our relationship and led me into it, but heartbreak remained an inevitability. Even six months later, I remain confident that God spoke to me and I know He's going to come through. I've decided, though, that this breakup no longer gets to rule over me.

I've cried far too long and hard about this. I've left work at lunch and cried until I had to park my car in a random lot because I was sobbing too hard to drive. I have ached and hurt over this scenario far too much.

Today, though, I've decided that I'm done.

I'm done hurting over a boy who cheated on me. I will always love him and want the best for him. I will always wish him success. I will always love his family. Forgiveness is always available if he has the courage to man up and ask me for it to my face. I will no longer wait for him, though, like a dog waits for their owner to return home – desperate for reconciliation and reunion. I have better things to do with my time.

I'm beautiful and I'm smart. It might take a little while for me to convince myself of that again, and to stop only seeing my own inadequacies, but I owe it to myself to restore my self-confidence. I have some pretty amazing job opportunities. I'm in the middle of writing my second novel, and I have three agents who are interested in reading it when it's ready. I have so much going for me, and I refuse to waste all of my opportunities crying over a boy who didn't love me enough to be faithful. He has his own issues. I hope the best for him. I hope he finds joy and peace, and he is able to make things right between him and God. I'll always pray for him, but I'm done wasting my tears on him. I've got a thousand gifts that I'm squandering crying over the memory of him.

Shania Twain has a new song called "Life's About To Get Good." In it, she chronicles her own ways of coping with the breakup she experienced with her husband of fifteen years who cheated on her with her best friend. While I know the pain I'm having over a breakup cannot even begin to compare to the pain of a woman who has been betrayed by her husband, I can relate on a smaller scale. "I wasn't just broken, I was shattered...I trusted you so much, you're all that mattered," Shania sings, detailing the affections she felt for the man who betrayed her. Boy, have I been there. My ex was my first real, true love and my first kiss. I deeply adored him and breaking up with him shattered me in ways I did not realize I was breakable.

Later in the song, however, Shania shares on the healing process, "It took me so long to be strong, but I'm alive and I hold on to what I can feel...it hurts to heal." It does. It hurts to heal like knives in your chest hurt to be pulled out. It feels like you're never going to be okay again--like there will never be another person who you could possibly love the way you loved the one who hurt you so badly. Maybe that's true. Six months have passed and I cannot even comprehend the idea of being with anyone else. Despite my feelings towards him, I owe it to myself to live life to its fullest and emotionally move on for the sake of my own health.

Maybe he'll come back and make things right. That door is still open. I'm just not going to wait by it anymore. I have other things that I need to do. I owe myself happiness again. I've got to get out from under his shadow and stop being haunted by him. I'm going to start dressing up again. I'm going to go out and make some friends. I'm going to de-alienate myself from society. I'm going to laugh more than I cry. I'm going to have a glass of wine because I love it, not a whole bottle in a desperate attempt to drink the pain away. I'm going to visit my college friends and go dancing like we all used to. I'm not going to hurt anymore. Not over him. Not over this.

Maybe in another six months, I'll even be ready to date again. Maybe not. Either way, it's going to be ok.

I'll never not love him. But I'm choosing to love myself more.

I'm going to make this breakup my b*tch. For me.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

52266
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

33592
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

956376
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181250
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments