1. Doing stupid things doesn't make you cool, it makes you stupid.
Think your actions through, would future you be proud of yourself for doing this?
I've come to realize that sometimes when I do things because I think it'll make me cool, or because it'll make for a good story or it'll be a good laugh; if it's stupid- I will only be stupid for doing it.
2. Not all people have good intentions.
You will get burned, but don't let it burn out your light.
I would like to think that all people have good intentions and won't purposefully hurt me, but that's not always the case. I've learned that some people don't want what's best for you, but what's best for them. Some people don't care how you feel, only how they feel. Some people don't care what you want- it's only about what they want. There's a difference between people that make mistakes and accidentally hurt you, and people that make the decision to do something that they know will hurt you.
3. Living in the moment is actually wasting time.
Spend time doing things that is building a successful path for yourself.
Most of the things that I end up regretting is because I didn't think about the later effects or outcomes of it, only how it was going to be in the moment: fun. Not only does this leave me with some regrets, but I realize now that I was wasting time doing things that weren't WORTH my time; when I could have been more intentional with my time.
4. Your best is not always good enough.
But that doesn't mean you quit trying.
I have given my all in so many things... and I have failed, I have been burned, I have gotten nothing in return, and I have come up empty handed. You know how people say "just do your best!" Well sometimes you do and it still doesn't work out. That's life. I've also had to learn that when this happens, it doesn't mean it'll never be good enough, it just means I have to work harder for it.
5. ALL actions have consequences.
Make them good consequences from the good things you've done.
Consequences might not catch up with you the next day- but they will in a few weeks, months, even years. All actions loop together eventually.
6. Not everyone is trustworthy.
You have to decide who is in your select few to know "everything."
You can say "don't tell anyone," but it will slip, or they will tell their best friend who tells their best friend, or they will gossip about it at practice. It's not always that they intentionally break your trust, but sometimes people tell others things that they have no business talking about.
7. Even when it seems like it could only get better, it could still get worse.
But it will get better. Just give it time.
There have been times that I am 100% sure that I have hit rock bottom- but sure enough, there is just one more thing that happens and then I am 110% sure I have hit the actual rock bottom. You are never positive on what life might throw at you. I've had to learn that you just have to give it time, and sometimes extra time.
8. Sometimes God's answer is "no."
And that's okay.
I have had to realize that just because I pray does not mean God will grant me my wish- He isn't a jeanie in a bottle. God is a sovereign God, a just God, and His timing is perfect. There have been times that I want something to happen my way and in my time, and God says no. Accepting that isn't always very easy.
9. Decisions you make will be with you when you wake up the next morning, and every morning after.
You don't want to wake up with regrets- make smart decisions.
This plays into "living in the moment is actually a waste of time" thing. Just because you make a decision in the moment and it might be fun or because it will be a good story, when you wake up the next morning, it'll be a real life decision you made that you have to live with the rest of your life.
10. Some people are only in your life for a season.
For either a lesson or another reason.
This has been one of the hardest things for me to accept. I put a lot of effort in my relationships with other people, and it really really hurts when either they decide to walk away, or I have to walk away for my emotional well-being. It doesn't make sense in my head to just throw away the time we invested in each other; so I try so hard to force a relationship that should have (naturally) ended a while ago.
11. Letting go is painful.
But sometimes necessary.
Whether it's letting go of a person, or something that happened in the past, my mind doesn't understand this concept. One of my biggest struggles in founded in the fact that I replay my mistakes and regrets over and over in my head, trying to figure out what I could have done differently so I wouldn't feel the hurt I feel. When in reality, me replaying it, overthinking it and trying to "fix it" when there's nothing to be fixed, is just hurting me. If I would mentally lay it to rest, maybe my mind could give it a rest too.
12. Forgiveness sets you free.
This is a must if you ever want to move on from people or events.
I am not usually the type of person that holds grudges; but there have been a select few people that have hurt me, have wronged me, to a point I didn't know if it's something I could forgive. And the other day it finally set in, I have to forgive them for my sake- not for theirs. As much as I don't know that I can forgive in the way that it means we have a clean slate, it means that I am no longer going to let what happened or what they said effect my life; whether they apologized or not.
13. Taking family for granted is a big mistake.
They are the ones who love you most.
My family has been through a lot together, and what amazes me is that through it all, we have not left each other's sides. Being at college doesn't always allow me ample time to go to dinner with my grandparents, talk to my brothers, catch up with my sister inlaws, see my nieces and nephews grow, or ask my parents for their advice. But what I've realized is that when I have the chance to do that- I need to do that and I need to be fully present. This life is so short, and I don't want to look back someday and realize that I didn't get to know the people that I love most to a full capacity.