I often question loyalty all the time. Whether it's with family or friends, there have been many incidents that have occurred where I have questioned my loyalty to others. Last year was a good example of me testing individuals friendships. There is nothing more annoying than having to think day by day who is truly there for you and who is only there to put on a show for you.

I simply cannot understand what is so hard about people saying "I don't like you" rather than faking a smile pretending that everything is okay. One thing I could not understand when I was younger is why some people would change their emotions and facial expressions whenever I entered the room. I was confused, but at the same time, I choose to ignore it because I simply thought that I was just overthinking certain things too much. Turns out I wasn't overthinking anything.

As much as the past should stay in the past, I can't help but think sometimes that people in elementary, middle, and high school were saying things to hurt and affect me. Was there something wrong with me?! Did I smell bad? Did I put my shirt on backward? I couldn't understand why I was constantly being bothered by other people. Was it because of how I looked on the outside, how I talked, how serious I took certain things more than others? I felt like an alien.

Then as I got older I realized that I wasn't the problem. The problem was that whenever I would find a quality about myself that I was most confident about, that would not go so well with other people. Sometimes I would find myself laughing for no reason simply because I hated being sad and loved being happy. Being happy was something that I was known for. Also, clicking well with certain people is a quality that I tend to get from my father and hearing people out instead of jumping to conclusions.

Even now I find myself just being laid back not having issues with anyone because why would I want to waste my energy hating someone who has no reflection on my life whatsoever? That takes too much energy. But there was a danger that came with it. I always get "Oh you know everyone!" I hear this on a on a regular basis. That is actually one statement that I don't like hearing for multiple reasons but that's another story. If there's anything I have learned from both of my parents is that making enemies takes effort, having fun does not. Living life under a negative microscope is something that I have never engaged in.

However, just because I'm friendly in some aspects I REFUSE to let ANYONE take advantage of me in any way. I refuse to let anyone try to manipulate and degrade me! Call me every name in the book because I WILL call you out for your actions! Don't think I'm gonna stay quiet and let you get away with anything. Just because I was raised a certain way doesn't mean that I will just sit back and let ANYONE take advantage of me or anyone that I'm close to. So with that said, think twice before you can pull anything over my eyes. I don't care who you are if you think that you can just get away with any manipulative and foolish antics you can think again!