You Know You Work With Kids When. . .
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Student Life

You Know You Work With Kids When. . .

Children— One second they are adorable, the next make you want to pull out your hair

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You Know You Work With Kids When. . .

It can be rejuvenating to be surrounded by their imagination and energy. Their youthful joy is infectious, and working with them brings out your inner child. But this Peter Pan miracle does not come for free. In exchange, you must become many things. You must become a trash bag, a chair, a jar opener, a lawyer, a peer counselor, and more.

If you are thinking to yourself, "Wow she's reading my mind," then you are right. Read on to see a couple other things that you may relate to if you work with children.

1. You are excellent at changing the subject.

Children notice a lot more than we give them credit for. They listen to their parents’ conversations secretly, and come to camp with those opinions racing around their brains, waiting to be expressed. Throughout this summer, many of my campers have mentioned the presidential race: a certain candidate in particular. While I of course would love to debate national politics with a 10-year-old, that would not go over as well with everyone involved.

That’s where my superpower, changing the subject, comes in handy. Simply ask the child some inane question, like “would you rather have a chicken the size of a cow or a cow the size of a chicken?”, and hope that you confused him enough that he forgot what he was saying.

2. Half of your job is just making sure kids get to the bathroom on time.

Whenever a kid tells me they need to go to the bathroom, my reflex now is to ask “#1 or #2?” Based on whether they are performing the wiggle dance or not, I assign a score from 1 to 5, 1 being Slightly Urgent, and 5 being Ticking Time Bomb.

Just last week, a camper of mine had an accident when someone made him laugh and he wet himself. Luckily, nobody noticed, and I pulled him aside and asked if he wanted to have a water fight so people couldn’t tell what had happened.

This of course quickly turned into a game in which all the kids wanted turns pouring water on me. Hence the importance of getting kids to the bathroom in a timely manner: it’s in your own best interest.

3. You have immense respect for teachers

I don’t understand how teachers command a class of thirty second graders for hours at a time. Merely getting the quiet attention of thirty kids so I can explain a new game takes crazy patience and a loud voice. I usually don’t have everyone listening until I do a call and response, then a “touch your head if you can hear me,” and then a “touch your nose if you can hear me” for good measure.”

If you still have some stubborn whisperers, go with an “I can wait” and stand there until the whispers die off. Soak in the quiet awkwardness for a long second, and then carry on as if nothing happened.

4. You act like you’re a real doctor

Given the accident-prone nature of most children, cuts and scrapes are bound to happen quite frequently at a nature camp. Since I am the closest to a doctor they have, I have to act like I know what I am doing so the kids stay calm. After a while, this bravado finally got to my head, manifesting as a power complex from using my First Aid Kit so much. Equipped with gauze, tweezers, and gloves, it is hard not to feel like a surgeon operating in the E.R.

5. You have accepted that personal space does not exist

This is especially true for the super youngins, the teeny toddler age. In their eyes, your lap is a throne uniquely designed for them to nestle comfortably within. Do not expect to be asked prior to gaining a small human atop your legs.

In fact, this property is not yours to bequeath, but a battleground that tiny warriors will fight for the right to sit upon. There can be but one!!!!!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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