Dear Future Daughter,

I know that I don't know you yet, but I have decided that I will write you a list of some of the things you should know -- some things that my own mother told me as well as some things I had to learn for myself. I know that growing up isn't always easy and it isn't always fun. I know some days we will disagree and some days you might think to yourself that I have absolutely no idea what you are going through. You'd be surprised, though, with how much I really do understand. But as you continue to grow, keep these things in mind. And maybe you will avoid some of the holes I've fallen into.

1. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

...and colors and disabilities and proportions. Growing up, my mom always taught me that there was more to me than what the mirror showed. She always encouraged me to strive for intelligence and kindness over beauty. And I wish for you to do the same. Almost everyone out there wants to feel beautiful and though there is nothing wrong in wanting that, it's still important to know what real beauty is. You don't have to look like the magazines. In fact, the people in the magazines don't even look like the magazines. I want you to grow up knowing and never doubting that you are beautiful (no matter what the world tells you). Love your body, including your love handles and your stretch marks. It isn't always easy, but you only get one body. So treat it right and accept it for what it is.

2. Don't believe every sweet word you hear.

Though I would like to live in a world where everybody says what they really mean and nobody has cruel intentions, that isn't the world we live in. Just because a boy seems really nice doesn't mean he is. I'm not saying to never trust any men. I am saying, however, to be weary. Not all boys are sweet because they care about you. Sometimes, all they really want is to get in your pants for the night. Make them earn your trust -- don't hand it out like pocket change. If they want you for you, they will stick around and respect your boundaries. Not giving your trust out right away will weed out the flaky ones and make room for Mr. Right.

3. Girls aren't angels either.

Know that real friends don't need your money or your 24/7 undivided attention. Know that real friends are there to build you up and not tear you down. Sometimes I will notice a fake friend before you do. I only know this because my parents spotted them a lot sooner than I did, each and every time. Just like you don't hand your trust out to potential boyfriends right from the start, also don't hand it out to friends. It's okay to test the waters and wait to see if this is a friend that will stick around for a while or if this is a friend who will dart at the first sign of hardship. Friends are tricky, but if you are patient, the right ones will find you. And they are worth going through the fake ones.

4. You are more than a number.

This goes for more than just your weight. Yes, you are more than the number on the scale, but you are also more than your GPA or your ACT score. People put a lot of emphasis and weight onto how many awards you've won or how many scholarships you have qualified for. Those accomplishments are good but they do not makeup you as a whole. You are more than how many boyfriends you have had, you are more than how many calories you eat in a day, and you are far more than any one number can tell you you are.

5. Your past mistakes do not define you.

I've been there. I've been at the point where I am so overwhelmed by the mistakes I have made and I have felt as though there was no possible way I could move on from them. But that's a lie. It's important to learn from your mistakes but then continue to go forward. Always look forward. Yes, you messed up, but it isn't the end of the world. Some mistakes have higher consequences and you will have to go through every single one, but if you can learn from it, then it might just be worth it.

6. Be the bigger person.

There are going to be mean people in this world. And occasionally, there will be points in your life where you wish for nothing more than to make someone pay for what they have done to you. There may be points when you want to fight fire with fire. But I have learned that it is always best to just be the bigger person and take the high road. If you spend so much of your time and effort to make things "fair," you will end up wasting time you could be spending being happy. Life won't always be fair. People won't always be nice. You can't control either of those things, but the one thing you can always control is how you choose to react. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

7. No matter what, you will always be my daughter.

You will mess up. There's really no way to avoid that. Everyone makes mistakes. I know this because I have made plenty of my own. But something my mom taught me was that I can make a mess out of things, I can decide that I don't need her help, and I can say things I regret, but she will always love me. And that's what I would want you to know, too.