The transition from high school to college is one of the biggest changes you'll make in the first 18 years of your life. Things that mattered to you in high school are no longer relevant; you even wonder how you ever cared about such naïve and silly things. Gone are the days of mom being down your back about taking out the trash and doing your homework. You’re an adult now -- an adult who can’t figure out where to put the fabric softener in the washing machine and consults Google on how to cook pasta. Nevertheless, being thrust into a new environment is bound to bring some changes. Out with the old and in with the new, here’s what’s become totally irrelevant in my life since I’ve been in college.
Watching hours of TV on an actual TV set.
Yes, I may binge watch "Friday Light Nights" ‘til there’s no tomorrow, but I can’t remember the last time I watched TV on my couch for hours straight. Maybe it's because my hard leathery couch is difficult to snuggle up on (S/O furnished student housing). Or maybe it's because it's nearly impossible to watch a series episode for episode without a DVR nowadays. Sure, every now and then I'll sit down for some crap reality TV, but it's nothing in comparison to my consumption in high school. All I know is that the last time I was in a state of complete couch-TV vegetation, "Jersey Shore" was still a thing.
Sleep.
Social life, good grades or sleep — pick one. That pretty much sums it up. Bye, bye sleep, you have officially become irrelevant.
Batteries.
Batteries have become less and less important as I’ve gotten older. I guess it’s because I don’t really play with my Bop-It Extreme anymore, so the need for them has diminished quite a bit. But when I sat down the other day to watch 30 minutes of crap reality TV that I do on occasion (see above) and my remote wont work I am absolutely dumbfounded. Why you ask? Because the batteries are dead and I sure as hell don’t have any lying around my house. I scramble around, looking for anything that could possible contain a battery. I finally find a AA-battery in a flashlight, which I realize is also completely irrelevant, seriously when was the last time you used an actual flashlight? Parents think to buy those little things that we think we don’t need until we really, really need them.
Mail/ Letters.
I checked my mailbox the other day because I was bored with nothing better to do, exciting life I live, I know. I reached past the cobwebs to find a birthday card from my Nana and 14 Bed Bath & Beyond coupons. My birthday was in June. Then $74 later at Bed Bath and Beyond I decided to call it quits and call my Nana to thank her for her sweet birthday card. She was confused at first, then lectured me about the importance of checking my mail. That's when I realized how irrelevant mail was in college. I was $74 richer before I checked it. I don’t receive it, I don’t send it and I haven’t seen a stamp since my sleepaway camp days back in ’09. I think I'll keep it that way.
Dressing cute or not to class.
“Cute or sweats?” A daily text I sent to my friends before school. It was the determining factor between looking like a pageant queen and looking like a homeless woman off the streets. This text has now become obsolete, considering I don’t need to coordinate what I’m wearing with my best friends (lol) and I pretty much only wear gym clothes.
Your metabolism.
I miss the days where I could eat 4 chocolate chip waffles and a box of Stouffer's Mac & Cheese as a “snack.” Who knew freshman-15 was an actual thing. As you get older, your metabolism slows down and basically starts to hate you. Factor in drinking three-plus nights a week, as well as late night drunk-munchies, and you can kiss that high school body goodbye! You have just entered the world of dad-like bodies and whatever the equivalent is for girls -- mom-like bodies? Let's go with that.
College juniors.
Aka, me. Washed up, old and just plain irrelevant. Sad and unfortunate truth.
