"Sometimes, I don't know what's worse, living in a state of panic, or living with other people's attitudes about it."

Living with anxiety and trying to lead a normal life seems near impossible. Getting out of bed and doing normal, everyday things requires more energy than the average person. Many people don't understand that anxiety is truly an illness, causing them to say things that tend to do more har than good. While some people are merely trying to help, but are at a loss of what to say, there are some people that just don't care. What they don't realize, however, is the lasting impact that their words can have on someone who is truly struggling. The following are a few common phrases that people with anxiety are tired of hearing, and what can be said in place of these phrases that can really help:

1. Don't worry about what you can't change.

If only it were that easy. Anxiety isn't a choice. If it was, then we would choose to have a stress and worry free life. It's incredibly difficult to shift our focus to something more pleasant-- and believe me, we would rather have pleasant thoughts everyday of our lives.

Instead, saying something such as "I would be worried about that too!" or "I completely understand.", along with giving that person a few positive things to focus on, really lets them know that you care and that you aren't just blowing off their apprehensions.

2. Other people have real problems to worry about.

That doesn't make our problems go away. In the moment, our fears are the biggest thing to us. We're in no way trying to be selfish, or ignore other people's problems, or even other issues around the world. With anxiety, everything is magnified, making it hard to rationalize our fears and focus on important things.

Having our feelings validated is extremely helpful. When someone acknowledges our concerns and lets us know that it's perfectly okay to have those concerns, it makes anxiety a little more bearable.

3. Just try harder!

You don't know how hard we've tried. As mentioned above, anxiety makes daily activities a challenge. Studying for a test, reading a book, even working out can be nearly impossible because our brain is running faster than we are. There's no room for focus, and there really isn't a simple solution for anxiety.

Saying "I know you've been trying really hard lately, and I'm proud of you for that!" is very thoughtful and much appreciated. It lets us know that you can see our efforts, and that it's okay to have setbacks, as long as we don't stay down for long.

4. You just want attention.

Because having a panic attack in the middle of a crowded place is something we've always dreamed of. Anything that draws attention to us in our time of panic is the opposite of what we want. The more people that crowd us, the more anxious we get. Not to mention, panic attacks are somewhat embarrassing. Having to explain why you had to leave an event can be hard, because you fear that others may not take you seriously. One of our biggest fears is being misunderstood.

Offering support and encouragement can never hurt. A simple question such as "What can I do to help?", or "Let me know if you need anything!" will always be remembered. Real friends offer to help when they see that their friends are in trouble, or having a rough time. You don't have to know exactly what to say or do, it's really just the thought that counts.

5. Well, you don't look like you have anxiety...

Well, what does anxiety look like? The person in your life that you think is the most put together may be struggling with anxiety. Their appearance may be what they put out there for others as a distraction from their mental illness. Anxiety doesn't discriminate. When someone tells you that they have anxiety, take them seriously.

Instead of basing anxiety off of looks, saying something similar to "I'm so glad that you trusted me enough to tell me.", or "I'm proud of you for opening up." are phrases that are comforting. It's very hard for some people to open up about their anxiety because they fear the stigma that's attached to it. Maybe they've opened up to a trusted friend in the past, and that friend started to treat them differently afterwards. It's in all of our best interests to care for and love someone with anxiety just as we would like to be cared for!

Anxiety is confusing for both the victim and for witnesses. It's a complex mental illness, with stigmas attached that can cause people to close themselves off. By speaking based on the stigmas we know, it makes that person feel even more frightened and alone. All I ask is that you take the time to get to know someone with anxiety, truly listen to them, and sincerely try to help them or offer your most genuine advice. A few kind words can potentially turn someone's life around.